Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Day 14 Glued to my seat

Exercise is becoming a bit of a mountain for me now. It is daft, because when I am out there, walking or swimming, I love it. Leaving the house though seems to be an upward struggle! Must be some kind of internal dialogue going on there, some fear I have to process. It is something I have noticed I do, a lot of. Stay at home rather than go out. And seem to be very easily led to give up going out at any opportunity.

Take yesterday for instance. I could have gone for a walk, got my wellies on and put up a brolly. And there was absolutely no reason to not jump into the car and drive to the pool to do a few laps. Yet I allowed a little heavy rain to put me off. I allowed the fact it was a miserable rainy dark cold night to put me off. Like this afternoon I allowed a heavy rain shower to justify my not going to the allotment "because it would be too muddy" - hmpf. Plenty to do apart from dig on a lottie! Seems I have a Houdini streak when it comes to exertion...heh, just a lot less glamorous ;)

If I had made a commitment to a friend to meet them somewhere I'd have been there, short of transport trouble. I guess this is a wake-up call for me to treat myself and my exercise time & leisure activity time as well as I might treat the time & presence of a friend: with respect, commitment and willingness to do.
I am just as important as any friend of mine.

I can see there is more stuff here for me to be tapping on. Oh yes, the tapping is EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique, which I have found helpful in dealing with other issues and stresses during this last year. I like this site, full of hope and great stories of people helping themselves and others live happier lives.

So, commitment to self. To exercise. To things that make me happy when I am there and doing them. Turn up! Even if it is just for a 5 minute walk. Even if it is only 2 laps! Movement is the key. As of course keeping a mindful eye on the intake!

Today's calories:
A totally splendid... 2059!! Hurrah for me! An idea of what constitutes a 'normal' calories for a woman my age of moderate activity.

And the best is, I feel full. :)

Weetabix & a mug of tea for breakfast; mozzarella, tomato & potato salad with olive oil & balsamic vinegar plus corn on the cob for lunch; french bread, tomatoes, olive oil bruschetta with 3 roast chicken drumsticks and PUDDING! Yummy strawberries with a little vanilla sugar and a generous heaping of fullfat Greek yoghurt. Late night snack: banana, mug of tea. Water today: 3 pints, drinking last one before bed.

Oh yes, yesterday I finished with a late night snack of 1 peach, microwaved with 1 tsp sugar & dolloped with a couple of tablespoons of Greek yoghurt, absolutely delicious and worth the extra 162 K.

When I was making the salad, I weighed the potatoes, and going by some Slimming World principles from previous attempts, I only cooked 7 oz of them. That was 5 small Anya potatoes. One portion. It looked so tiny, so little. But when I combined it with the mozzarella and tomatoes, it was just right.

Another clue to myself: in the past I have often cooked far too much, and because I had, and it was there, I ate it.

These last couple of weeks writing down all my food, and my thoughts about exercise and everything else have been really clarifying in many many ways. I love holding up this mirror to myself, and for the first time ever I am seeing my habits clearly without judgement or smoothing it over with some excuse. It's cool. I like it :)

The next biggie for me in the going out of the house stakes is getting to the doc's to weigh myself. I have some scales, but they're a little variable. Yes, tomorrow will be a good day to get to the doc's, hit the pool and return some books to the library. And if I can do it, perhaps walk, instead of drive. Mollycoddling myself since my op has been a habit. One I have to stop. Exercise is good. Have to remember all those nice things I get to see when I walk places...

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