Thursday, 30 September 2010

Day 36 Oktobefast Challenge

Clyde has issued a Oktobefast Challenge and since I've restarted swimming I thought it would be good to join in.

Funny really, because I'm not a joiner of groups or put myself up to challenges or races or anything like that normally. Heh - maybe it is excess of exercising hormones - I forget what they're called, the feel-good kind - hmm - serotonin?

So here are my goals:
swim goal: 10.5 miles or 16800 m
hike goal: 5 x 90 minute treks 

When I go on my treks I will take photos of the various places. I really enjoyed the Shotover hike last weekend even though it was a real effort for me. It left me with a happy glow for days!

And since I will be doing a heap more exercise maybe a nice half of some interesting beer will be do-able.

A note here: I usually drink bitter, ale or stout when I have beer, normally I don't drink lager or blond beer. Although when I went on a trip to Belgium their beer in all its variety was fascinating. Hmm and chips with mayo - ahem. NOT something I'm planning on revisiting.

Day 36 Stress is not an excuse to eat sugar!

I've discovered that work stress encourages me to seek out sugar as a coping mechanism. I think it is a throwback to the days when I was first a freelancer and unable to say 'no' to impossible workload demands from my main client. Those days I worked 18 hour days, and ate lots of chocolate, biscuits, sweets, crisps, sandwiches, pies, ready meals - and drank coffee by the gallon, instant of course, because it was quick! Ouch Ouch Ouch!!! So much processed food, so much salt, so much additives, and so much sugar. Oh my. :o And practically no exercise either, except for the odd stretch and quick walk to the kitchen and back to my seat at the computer.

Sedentary body mistreatment. And learned behaviour. And it reared its ugly head again today. A project which was dumped on me last minute yesterday afternoon which was supposed to only take a couple of hours has taken up all of today plus a few hours, and I have eaten half a pack of mini marshmallows and drunk a pot of coffee with loads of sugar. Both things I haven't partaken of in quite a while in such quantities. My poor gut feels most unhappy. And I'm feeling over-buzzy from all the caffeine.

Note to self. Coffee only for weekends! Drink roobios tea or real tea. I don't like those with sugar in them. And put the marshmallows in the hot chocolate!

Hurrah for me! I didn't allow the workload dump to sway me from the lunchtime swim. I'm coming to look on that as a treat rather than an obligation. I do love the water, and our pool is lovely because it is low-chlorine. Yay! Another 32 laps, another half mile!

I have another 33 weeks before my swim card runs out, so potentially I could swim 80 odd miles at my present rate. heh. Let's just stick to turning up at the pool every weekday instead and be happy about that! And a challenging walk somewhere once a week. And when I feel fit enough, back to the golf course for a spot of learning how to play golf in winter. I had lessons this summer but found that walking tired me out so decided getting fit was more imperative than forking out for games I wouldn't enjoy. Not to mention the crippling backache - ow ow ow!!! Those ab muscles really need some toughening up to help out my back.

Okay the food low-down: SW Extra Easy Day SW 36.5 calories 2586. Hmm, not exactly slimming rates! Ho-hum. Again, it is BETTER by far than gorging lots of cake, crisps and chocolate which I might well have done. And the only casualty of today is my stomach which will feel better tomorrow.

Hmm - measured my stats today. My waist is smaller - 41 and a quarter inches, my bust is 50 inches, but my butt is bigger?? 59 and three-quarters?? Hmpf. I do know that I lose weight off my face first when it goes, and my legs and bottom last... Yikes! Pear shape city. Oh well, a generous bum can be an asset in the right circumstances ;)

Time to drink my quota of water and early to bed.

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Day 35 Swim Lunchtimes and Apple varieties

Today I made it up to the pool at lunchtime again. I'm smiling at myself because it was planned like a military expedition! Cook lunch first then leave house and get there before 12.30 because today is the day we have to evacuate the pool at 1.30pm sharp...heh. Yay! I got my half-mile in - 32 laps. And I believe I have gotten a teeny bit faster at it. Started trying to do intervals with the swimming too. Fast backstroke in the middle numbers and recovery breaststroke - rest of it was more leisurely - warm up first 10, cool down last 10, and swim with more effort in the middle 12. :)

Food today: Had a couple of extra treats - a wholemeal seeded bagel and the rest of that dark chocolate bar - 38g and a couple of Murray Mint sweets, so SW Green Day Syns came to 25 and calories to 2509. On the whole though I'm okay about that. This is a lifestyle change and I mostly happy that my food choices are better for me healthwise. Reminds me, must ask nurse for cholesterol test when I go back.

Hmm, just eating a Cox apple and it is a totally different experience to eating the Pink Lady I had the other day. Do think its a shame I never see other varieties more. I like Discovery, and Russets, and Spartan. I'd like to try out a Worcester Pearmain. A friend had an apple tree in her garden with apples that were really crisp tangy white with red skin that bled into the flesh when I bit into it. There's a new variety called Redlove which is totally red on the inside - the trees are for sale through one of my seed suppliers. I'd want to try out the fruit though before getting it. Oh yes, better order my raspberry plants now. It has been raining lots here this week so the soil will be workable once it dries out a bit (Clay around here) - perfect for manuring and getting ready for my little red beauties. I love raspberries and strawberries and next year I am determined to have a decent crop!

Swimming really does wonders for my temperament. I've been quite relaxed today, and even though it has been raining and dark and grey, my mood has been good. :)

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Day 34 Proper Workday

Well, seems like it is all stations go on this work project once again. Which is good. Keeps me occupied. And will pay the bills!

Food stats: SW Red Day 19.5 Syns, calories 1785. I had 12g of ultra dark chocolate today. And ate a cooked breakfast - quorn sausages, bacon, omelet, grilled tomato, HP sauce! Had one of my recommended fish servings for the week - tuna, cottage cheese and sweetcorn salad (cottage cheese is amazing stuff!) The chocolate was grated over a dish of low fat natural yoghurt & chopped banana sweetened with Splenda. Dinner was stirfried pork loin chops, heaps of cabbage, carrots and roasted butternut squash with instant gravy. I'm too full to even attempt to eat my promised bagel - it will have to wait for tomorrow. Anyway, I've had quite a lot of Syns today (hadn't realised sweetcorn has a Syn value on Red Days and the butternut squash was tossed in olive oil before roasting)

Exercise today: an upper body set with my handweights! I used 1kg, 1.5kg and 2kg weights. Next time R comes round will ask his help to set up my weights bench. It has been languishing in its box for almost two years now. I haven't attempted core exercises as yet, I still find getting up from the floor difficult. Somewhere I have a balance ball and a pump, that might be fun to sit on to do a few exercises on and watch TV on as it is supposed to help improve core muscles. And those are the ones which need it. Poor things got cut up earlier this year and I've been babying them. Time to rock, you abs!

I did a review of my calories for the last week and my average is just under 2000. Hurrah for me! Lets see - next weigh in is 12 Oct. I'm hoping for a much much better result than the last one!

Hmm - UPDATE: late night snack: avocado, tin of sardines in olive oil, drained, 6 dried apricots, a handful of raisins  and roobios tea. My Syns have shot up to 37 (who would have thought avocado, a fruit is so very synful? 13.5 Syns! Live and learn.) and calories are now 2435.

I'm going to make myself fall asleep at 10 pm every day now. If I am asleep, I am not raiding the kitchen!

Monday, 27 September 2010

Day 33 Focusing on Food

I've spent a large amount of today analysing food recipes, reading a lushly delicious book on English food by Gary Rhodes, and being really aware of what food I am putting into my mouth! I have a plan for some muffins later on in this habit changing journey. I have worked out the calories to make a dozen muffins - shocking! 264 for the smallest...eek! And to think I might have scoffed at least 2 or 3 at a time. :o The Gary Rhodes book had some great stuff in it, some I might adapt for a less fat version.

It's an interesting phenomenon, how altering one's eating habits brings food so much more into focus. I usually just think - I fancy that, and off I go to get it or make an approximation of it to satisfy that craving. Now, of course, I have to operate within the parameters of the SW suggestions and to keep a tab of the calorific values. Neither of which I would have bothered with before, my only criteria being, "do I like it?", "does it taste good?", "can I afford it?"! Now, it is all those three AND is it good for me, does it fit in within my current rules for eating. :)

I've eaten extremely well today, well - as in the food I ate was delicious, and well - as the food I had were good choices healthily speaking.

Here's the low-down:
weetabix & milk for breakfast (wow! I forgot the sugar - and tbh I don't miss it)
bucatini with quorn & vegetable pasta sauce & 1 oz parmesan, plus a banana for lunch ( very filling)
apple, banana, 2 crackers with cottage cheese for afternoon tea ( I savored every bite of those crackers - I MISS bread & flour products so much!)
yoghurt mashed potatoes, a pork loin chop stirfried with some Fry Light, 1/4 pint gravy, applesauce, cabbage & cauliflower for dinner
chocolate options drink and a banana for late evening snack

All that comes to SW Green Day Syns 14 and calories 2095. I still have a barely restrained craving for something bready or biscuity. I'm going to save it for tomorrow - which is a Red or Original SW day where I get to eat lots of protein, so I am having a wholemeal bagel somewhere - think best towards the end of the day.

Exercise - I did a set of lunges, squats & other leg & calf exercises. Been feeling rather low today. I think I might have a bit of SAD - it was grey and overcast and mostly drizzly this morning.

Watched a documentary on Gauguin. Perhaps that is what I want - to escape to a beautiful paradise and live on a boat, fish and pluck fruit from the trees... :D I want some more colour in my life. Redecorate a wall or two? Paint a mural? Will certainly keep me occupied and away from the 'fridge!

Sunday, 26 September 2010

Day 32 Beth Ditto, healthy and unhealthy fat, and things I want to do

I'm watching Fearne Cotton interview Beth Ditto on TV. Beth is Gossip's lead singer and a big girl. She is also fabulously fashionable, beautifully made up, coiffed and gorgeous in a lovely cuddly fashion. I can see in her, attractiveness. I think this is very much down to her huge character and the way she owns her body. Beth Ditto is comfortable in her own skin. Beth makes no apologies for her size and she lives her life as it is, and enjoys every moment. As far as I can see her fat doesn't restrict her. All this makes her hugely attractive. Something to learn from seeing this.

It isn't the size of a person that determines attractiveness, it is their vitality, their outlook, the energy they give out. I have noticed that in the past, the times I have decided to forget about making an impression and worrying about my weight whatever size I was currently, and just got on with having a great time with the people and things around me, I also had the best times of my life. :) And that is something I want back. So here is something else to work on as well as my health. Having more fun!

With me, I feel unhealthy at the moment, so getting my weight down is getting rid of unhealthy fat that is restricting my enjoyment of life. There are so many things I want to do which necessitate a little more agility, a little more energy, a little more balance than I can manage right now. I am so looking forward to trying out dinghy sailing again - I learned how to do this a couple of years ago, but was so worried about being unable to fish myself out of the water back into the boat that I developed an unreasoning fear of falling in. I am sure that phobia is entirely down to my lack of confidence in myself, my body's abilities, so being lighter, trimmer, more toned, stronger, more agile will definitely help me in achieving that. I love sailing. There is nothing so wonderful as skimming along in a fast little sailboat with the wind whizzing past, and the water surging away from your agile little craft.

I am also looking forward to getting back onto a bigger boat, like the one I went on last autumn, with Classic Sailing. Eve of St Mawes should be on prescription as a tonic for curing the blues and getting one's oomph back...! I am putting a picture of Eve on my fridge to remind me every day that there is more fun to be had in life than having a great taste in my mouth! I already have a photo of this lingerie model with the kind of figure I want to have eventually. I think it will be achievable, I have always had a waist, even when I was nearly 25 stone. And I am particularly delighted that the first physical signs of my weight loss has showed on my waist – whoo-hoo, forty-one and seven-eights of an inch! Heh!

Okay. Enough praising self. Stats for today's food and exercise: SW Green Day Syns 15 and calories 1978. Exercise - after reading about Patsy and her butt like "a black girl's bum" on her blog, I did a set of modified lunges, squats, and other lower body exercises from Joyce Vedral's Workout 101 I got a while back. Going to be dusting off those handweights this coming week! And doing more hiking like yesterday, as it is apparently VERY good for cardio and lower body. Really looking forward to getting back on the bike soon, so I can slim down my thunder thighs! I spent the afternoon asleep - obviously my body felt a day of rest was more imperative than checking on the allotment or trekking down to the river!

Today's food was really thought about - especially dinner. I made a modified version of my usual pasta sauce, which is generally laden with olive oil, this time I only used 1 tablespoon of oil, and quorn mince instead of beef to bulk it out. Delicious, and filling, I was amazed at how much grated parmesan is in one ounce. I am so very pleased with my new accurate food scales. Lunch was the last of the boiled chicken from earlier in the week, warmed in the microwave, smothered in bisto gravy, along with yoghurt mashed potato and heaps of lightly boiled cabbage and cauliflower. Breakfast was weetabix with vanilla sugar (I made this with a vanilla pod dumped in a jar of caster sugar- heavenly smell! and a fabulous little luxury), snacks - corn on the cob, crackers with cottage cheese, a banana and an options chocolate drink. A totally tasty menu, and all perfectly within the SW syn count and my current calorie allowance. I'm supposed to eat another piece of fruit, but I'm too full. Have to get in my apple & banana earlier on in the day tomorrow!

Day 32 A sneaky stat and some thoughts on my larder and exercise

I don't get an official weigh in until mid October but I've just been on my 'unreliable' bathroom scales, and they say I am 21 st and 8 lbs. And I just measured my waist, it is now 41 and 7/8 inches, and that was without sucking my breath in or tying the tape on tightly! I feel better, am sleeping much more soundly, my skin looks good, and I seem to have much more energy!

The larder thoughts were about all that nice stoneground flour I got to make homemade bread. I got it out and checked the dates - use by Oct 2010. So, I put it back and have told myself I can make a couple of loaves towards the end of next month when I know someone is visiting, or I am going to see some of my family and can take it with me to them. That way I get to indulge my cooking instincts and also get to sample some but not have it in the house as a temptation to get butter and eat the lot...

Right now I am drinking my several glasses of water for today, and a bit later will head out to the allotment and maybe go for a short walk from there to Iffley Village and along the towpath. It's a good plan because the 'lottie, the village and the towpath are connected by  nice steep slopes which will be excellent exercise for my thighs, glutes and calves, not to mention my cardio!

I read on a blog that lunges and squats were the best bottom and leg firming exercises to do. Unfortunately I am still too heavy to do them properly - ie get as low as I would like, because of knee joint and ankle problems. I can hike and walk however, so I will do what I can, and as my fitness increases, lunges and squats may become a much bigger part of my exercise routine.

Saturday, 25 September 2010

Day 31 stats

Here is today's food  - calories 2135 Green day SW syns 28.5. Most of the syns came from the lunchtime bagel. Most of the calories came from my carbohydrate rich dinner! Dinner tonight was yoghurt mashed potato topped with cottage cheese (for the calcium), baked beans and a couple of quorn burgers - the southern style ones with a serving of chilli jam. In itself not a bad thing on the Green Day as only the chilli jam incurred syns. Whole dinner came to 748 cals. Hmm - might go easy on the potatoes and the chilli jam next time.

This is a learning journey and I am learning from my mistakes on how to make better choices next time. What I am aiming for is to find a happy balance for food at around 1500-1800 cals and feel happy and full and satisfied on it. The yoghurt in the mash was inspired. It tasted great. Better than the olive oil one a few days ago and almost as good as the butter and milk one last weekend. Heh - retraining the tastebuds! One day the thought of eating bread slathered with butter will be less appealing than it is now (I hope!).

I also made carrot and lentil soup today. Yummy stuff - works out at 273 cals per 500ml.

Hmm since I did eat over my current 2000 cal amount I am going to do a bit of exercise tomorrow. I was going to have a rest day, however a short 20-30 mins around the park will be beneficial. Or even a little trek along the towpath :) Allotment needs attention too - take along the trusty hoe and maybe get started on de-couch-grassing that strawberry bed. Must find my blue tarp to cover over my bits and bobs until I get a proper tool shed/shelter built.

Tonight I watched a Grand Designs rerun of this beautiful wood house built by a guy who owns, lives and works in a sweet chestnut wood in the middle of Sussex. Gorgeous fairy story home. I do like that kind of thing a lot. And all totally self-sufficient, solar powered, wind powered, fuel from the wood, composted sewage, grows own food. I wonder if I have the kind of drive in me to create something as wonderful.

Day 31 A whole month!

Hurrah! I've been blogging and musing and being mindful about food and peripatetically exercising for 31 days now. It's been really good to have a focus to log all this stuff and also a record that I can go back and read about later.

I have written stuff all my life - most of it on little jotters, plans, dreams, lists, rambles, venting - I find the act of putting words to paper really gets me to coalesce my thoughts. I often think of my mind as this subconscious sea of words, thoughts, desires, wants, needs, memories, facts that is just milling around, and occasionally some gem gets deposited on the conscious shore. Writing seems to be able to direct these to arrive a bit more frequently - as does conversations with people whose minds I find fascinating. It is one of the reasons I miss my last boyfriend ( jeez - such a corny term for a 53 year old guy! But it fits.) - he had a marvellously magpie mind, yet was incisively sharp, clever, funny, witty and of course charming. I could talk to him for hours and never get bored. That's what I miss most about him. I am sure there are plenty more of those kinds of people around - I only have to open my eyes and heart to see them appear in front of me. Or start moving in different circles!

Well, enough on that. This is supposed to be about my exercise, food and weight! Hurrah for me! I have been on a nice little hike over at Shotover County Park - our local 'wilderness'. It used to be an MOD area where they tested out tanks I believe. Here's a list of interesting places I can go for more walks near me. I've been up Uffington's White Horse a few times - can't wait till I am fit enough to tackle that again. And maybe this time next year I will do a walk or cycle along the Ridgeway and find myself in the footsteps of history!

Urgh - digressing again. Heh - my mind is racing ahead of my typing's hike. When I got to the carpark there was a horde of re-enacters milling about. Shields, swords, middle ages stylee clothing hehe. Probably going to redo some old battle. Lots of people with their dogs up there too when I plunged myself down the trail into the woods.

I started off thinking I'd just do a gentle 15 mins, stop then retrace my steps. But it was such a glorious sunny day, blue skies, just a hint of crisp bite in the breeze - perfect autumn weather. And the initial trek was all I carried on. Luckily I met up with a bloke with his two kids and golden retriever, and asked if the path I was on was a circle. He was kind enough to say yes, and that it wasn't really that far, and did I have a map. When I said no - he handed me a leaflet and said - well, you have one now! It's such a great thing, this kindness of strangers.

I continued on my walk, coming across various people and their lovely and sometimes excitable dogs, a few joggers, a few cyclists old and young careening down the trails. Eventually the path started to go up and I had to step over fallen logs, hmm. Hoisting 300+lbs over on uncertain footing was an achievement! As was making it up all those steep slopes, my calves were aching, my shoulders feeling sore, my thighs creaking. I stopped every so often to have a drink and a rest, found a few perfectly placed low slung branches to perch on (thank you trees!) and kept telling myself how well I was doing :)
And having the map meant I could tell myself look! half way there, look! you've reached post 14...etc. I took the yellow trail which is supposed to take around 45 mins. Me, I did it in an hour and 20 mins. I am so very pleased with my effort, determination and actually getting there and persevering. Yay for me!

I'll post later about the day's stats - so far it has been a great SW Green Day: porridge for breakfast, banana snack, chicken salad & a bagel for lunch. And I'm doing great on the water intake. Oooh, I am soooo pleased!

heh - can safely say my mood is gooooood. :D

Friday, 24 September 2010

Day 30 Exclamatory Day!

The local pool is closed to the public tomorrow - gala all this weekend and next weekend. Now, I have 2 choices. Go swimming elsewhere or go for a nice long walk somewhere instead. I quite fancy the latter. The only other decent council run pool is on the other side of town & I will have to pay for parking on top. There is another smaller 20 m pool in the nearest housing estate, I could go check that out. I'm kind of undecided. The walk seems more and more alluring! Weather is set to be fair in the morning - seems a good time to take advantage. :)

Hurrah for me! Today has been a great day food wise and exercise wise. SW Green Day Syns 10.5 and calories exactly 1800. Yesss! I also bopped around to music off the radio this morning (elevated my heart rate and probably wore out my knees, but hey it was fun!) and this evening I did 32 laps at the pool, yay another half mile! Just had a post swim supper - yummy bulghur wheat salad and a couple of perfectly boiled eggs. I'm a bit tired and sleepy, early to bed for me tonight!

Day 30 - 10 things about me

A few days ago, I wrote that a random guy liked the sound of my voice and wanted to get to know me better just because of that. It got me thinking about how much I think of myself in terms of my weight meaning and affecting everything, when quite often when people really get to know me, what weight I am means nothing.

So I sat down and compiled a list of 10 of my non-weight related attributes. Things that will stay the same, and are intrinsic to my character, and have nothing to do with the size of my waist! :)

Daft things make me laugh.
Good with my hands.
Good listener.
Helpful friend and colleague.
Clever and long-winded!
Generally law-abiding.
Well brought up.
Like the arts.

Of course there are more, and maybe I will add to this list another day. For now, though I am happy to say I like myself a lot, whatever weight I happen to be.

Thursday, 23 September 2010

Day 29 Gosh, almost a month of doing this

Okay, here's the lowdown:  Cals 2455 SW Extra Easy Day Syns 17.5

I had 50g of Green & Black's Madagascan Vanilla Infused 70% chocolate which would have been fine and left my calories under 1800 but because I was so cold, decided to have a carbohydrate rich dinner. It worked, I feel less shivery - maybe next time I will just up the heating, wear an extra layer and have a low cal cup-a-soup! Another useful item to pop onto the shopping list.

Yay for me! I went swimming again this lunchtime, and trekked up there (armed with brolly in case the heavens opened again). This time I did half a mile - 32 laps. Hurrah for me! Every time I make it there is a golden moment. Every time I walk anywhere is an achievement to be celebrated. Each extra step I take is one more on this thrilling new journey to my new existence, so I'm feeling good about it.

October is rushing in towards us too. I want long walks by the towpath feeding the ducks & geese & swans; long cycle rides to lovely warm pubs to quaff a pint before coming home; getting to swim that mile in the pool regularly. And tending my garden and allotment, putting new paint on my walls and giving my wardrobe an overhaul. I picked up my handweights today too - I have some weights routine videos I can work out too, so I can look forward to building up some more muscle strength and stamina. Right now from where I am, there is a golden glow of promise. :)

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Day 28 Sunshine & Swimming!

Yay! I went swimming! 28 laps because we had to get out of the pool at 1.30 - Weds is schools afternoon. And I walked there, went to the library and walked back. So what if it was an amble, I am really pleased I walked. It is sunny sunny and warm today too, so got to make the most of the sunshine while it is still around! I am in a really good mood today :)

Foodwise, day has been excellent. I've pretty much stuck to SW principles for a Green Day, & kept a check on the calories. What is amazing is that the cal count is low yet my tummy feels quite full. I can if I wish have a snack before bedtime if I like. Let's see how I feel later. Pay attention to what my stomach is saying! heh
Green Day SW Syns 14.5, calories 1461. I've had weetabix breakfast, tuna pasta salad & apple for lunch, cream crackers spread with Philadelphia light & topped with ham for a mid afternoon snack, and dinner was quorn paprikash with spinach, boiled cauliflower and mashed potato. I've drunk lots of roobios tea & had 2 glasses of water, so can do better on the water front.

Yesss! Excellent day! As James Brown would say..." Ah feeeeeel good...!!"

Quarter past midnight: I've had a peach & a fresh fig and a roobios tea. Extra cals brings total to 1550. I'm so sleepy.

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

Day 27 another slip up

Foggy this morning, sunny in the afternoon. I was doing really well until dinnertime. Hmm, actually dinner was okay, it was the TV snacking urge that derailed me. I am going to have to keep all bread products out of my house for now. At least until I have learned to resist their siren call. All I can say is thank goodness there is no butter in the house!

Have run out of milk, will have to get some in the morning. I can do that and take a short 20 minute walk as well. Time to dust myself off and get back on the wagon. This food addiction thing is S-E-R-I-O-U-S !

Water drinking is low today too. but remembered to take my meds :) And got some work done.

Food today: I'm not going to list it just record the numbers.I know what I ate and its on my excel sheet. If only I had fallen asleep at 7pm none of this would have happened! Got to get some kind of occupation that keeps me away from the fridge, kitchen or any supermarket between 7pm and midnight... okay....calories 3562, Green Day Syns 111

Had great idea about bread products in house - feed the birds down at the lock tomorrow. And get me some exercise at the same time :) Now that's a plan.

Monday, 20 September 2010

Day 26 Emotional eating

Today was an emotional eating day. Started last night when I did a dead of the night fridge raid, divesting it of the second caramel cream bun, the leftover chicken, some slices of ham and a banana. Somewhere in my food fixated brain was a little voice saying at least if you are going to binge do it with the SW principles of eating protein (as yesterday was an Original day). Hmmm - method in the madness I presume.

I had such a nice time yesterday, I suppose I was sad that this was no longer something that occurs with regularity in my life. R is an ex-lover I lived with for many years, and we revisited that happy co-existing duality of ours, the easiness of long time lovers but without the lover extras. I suppose I was regretting that I felt I could no longer hug and hold and touch him without giving him the idea I want a resumption of our previous relationship. I miss the human contact with him as he was always such a touchy feely man. So I guess the emotional eating today was in compensation for that.

Next time he comes to see me I will explain that sometimes I will touch him, and hug him and so forth and it isn't that I want us to resume our previous relationship, it is because I feel affection for him and have to express it that way. I hope he will be okay with it. I'd rather do that than resort to eating in the middle of the night again! And having a hug is so much better than eating Green & Black's 30% cocoa Milk Chocolate...

On the lovely side, he borrowed that Artist's Way book from me, and was inspired enough to have a go at it, and I am so pleased. :) I always want my friends to achieve their dreams.

So onto the food log: a sighingly sad 4064. I'm wasn't going to bother with the SW Syns today, but curiosity made me calculate the extent of my synning (urgh-dreadful pun) and it is a faintworthy 101. Tomorrow is another day :) and another chance to be what I want it to be.

Midnight snack: chicken drumstick, 6 slices ham, banana, cream bun
Breakfast: 2 mugs roobios tea, banana-strawberry-honey-yoghurt milkshake
Lunch: 125g french baguette with tomato & mozzarella salad dressed with olive oil & balsamic vinegar
Snack: bulghur wheat salad, cottage cheese, 3 slices ham
Sad snack: 100g Green & Black's milk chocolate
Dinner: 2 mugs homemade chicken-pasta-vegetable soup
late snack: 2 bagels with light cream cheese & smoked salmon, roobios tea
later snack: 1 pain au chocolat, 1 options hot chocolate drink, 3 crackers, 2 mugs roobios tea

A note on the soup. It does work, soup stays in the belly for the longest time! Handy I have made quite a lot of that. I see soup, and other veggie delights in my immediate future for this week...!!

And another thing - I am so sore from our digging and weeding and planting yesterday :) It's a good kind of sore though, an accomplishment muscle ache, hurrah for me!

A further note on all the snacking. I am genuinely shocked at my total. What I have eaten today is probably far less than the amount I might have eaten on a so-called 'healthy' day before I started being mindful, counting calories & tracking my food. So goodness knows how many calories I might have been consuming with my platters of 8 crackers with butter and slivers of cheese, my couple of croissants with sugared cafe au lait, my platters of salads drenched in home made olive oil rich dressings, the cartons of roast chicken pieces I might finish at one sitting telling myself it was only protein.

): I'm so sad at how delusional I have been, how utterly bliinkered. :) And...I am happy at how now I have some tools at my disposal to really see how much I am putting into my mouth that I can make the best choices for myself in future. There is a silver lining to this binge day, hmm, I can't call it a binge day - this backtrack to my previous eating habits day :)

On a slightly surreal note. While I was sitting here working out all those numbers, the phone rang. It was a wrong number. A man with a scots accent wanting to chat to his mate and thinking I was the mate's wife. A minute or two later he called back, the number he had been given in an email was erroneously mine! And then he said I had a nice accent!!! Thinking about it now, that was rather sweet, and it has left me with a little happy glow. And the realisation that attractiveness does not reside purely in the visual. There are lovely things about me that have nothing to do with how I look now. :) I'm going to write myself a list of 10 non visual body things that are attractive about me today. LOL update: that guy called back! And asked for a date! How amusing. He's in town this weekend visiting his friend, so I said call me when he's here and we'd see. It's nice to be asked out. and interesting if I meet him how he correlates my voice with my physical self, or if he will be amazed. I sound very English and look very Asian!

Yesterday I read a blog post by someone, who said it is important to love yourself irrespective the size you are now. There are many many fabulous things about myself that have nothing whatsoever to do with my weight. I'll do a post about that soon.

Sunday, 19 September 2010

Day 25 Allotment Regeneration

Today, my friend R & I spent all day at the allotment. We'd only intended to earth up the potatoes which have come up lovely and green. R was really chuffed seeing them. There is nothing quite like planting a seed or a tuber and getting something growing from it. :) He was wonderful all day, we cleared loads of weeds, dug out more triffids - this time of the stinging nettle variety, then he kindly did most of the hard digging in the raised beds while I hacked at couchgrass with the azada and cleared as much weed roots from the soil as I could. Plenty of exercise and fresh air today :) And at the end we were both really amazed at how much we'd achieved, 3 raised beds planted (radishes, spring onions, salad leaves, land cress, winter spinach, and overwintering peas), the potatoes earthed up, the lines of raspberries and currant/gooseberries weeded, and the overgrown path hacked down to visibility! Hurrah for us!

After hot baths and beer for him, we're going to relax watching a film this evening.

Food today:
breakfast - 2 mugs roobios tea, 1 pain au chocolat, 1 banana
mid morning - ham & tomato sandwich, half an apple (from my tree!) 3 thermos mugs of tea with milk
lunch - 2 pieces roast chicken, 1 peach
dinner - 2 pieces roast chicken, 8 oz mash, 1 cup peas, sweetcorn, baby carrots, 100 ml gravy, cup of tea with milk, 2 jaffa cakes

SW Red Day 20 Syns, calorie counted 1805

Water - have only had one glass, had better have some more and my blood pressure meds & vitamins - forgot them in the excitement of going to the 'lottie!

R has found an interesting book on my shelf - Fiction First Aid which he is borrowing. we has a conversation about writing, having ideas and making them concrete yesterday. I'm really looking forward to reading some stories written by him, I always enjoyed letters and poems I've received in the past. :)

Day 24 Visitors!

Have a friend staying with me this weekend, so calories for the day are 2659 and SW 49 Syns!
I've had some beer and wine and very nice it was too along with lots of chat & nice times down my local pub. :)

Food intake

Caffe Latte, bulghur wheat salad, roast chicken (cat helped me eat this!), cottage cheese, sliced strawberries & raspberries with 2 tsp sugar, a peach, a fresh fig, a large medjool date, a bagel spread with light soft cheese & smoked salmon, pasta with bolognaise sauce & cheese, and one and a half glasses of red wine, and one and a half pints of London Pride beer.

Friday, 17 September 2010

Day 23 Comparing weight loss strategies

Wahey! I did my 20 mins of walking today. Hurrah for me! I was so proud of myself, because it really did start to hurt - my gluteals, my lower back, my thighs, my shins :o !! I persevered and made it with 2 short 10 second stops.

I also walked around the supermarket, parked far away from the entrance, moved a load of rubbish from the front garden to the car to take round to the recycling dump, and walked up and down my stairs - yay! A much more active day than yesterday certainly. :)

I also logged my food as SW with 'ouch!' of Green Day syns 31.5 and as calorie counted - a quite splendid 1500. Interesting comparison. What is also interesting is that I feel quite full on this 1500 cals. Maybe it is because I've had exactly what I wanted and that has shut off the whine of deprivation I kept hearing. I also tried out the eating off a small plate thing.

I discovered there was no more milk this morning so it was supermarket time & decided to wait to have food, and ended up food shopping, moving rubbish, getting a birthday card for dad, going to the post office, doing a little more food shopping at my fave grocers AND going for my walk in the park as it was a gloriously sunny day. :D

Spent the rest of the afternoon reading another blog, Zeusmeatball's One Man's trip to the half,  I like this blog, he puts in some awesome ;) images illustrating his writing. This post was especially great :) I'm looking forward to being able to swop over to my smaller pants too! I also like that he's a big cycling enthusiast - that's something I am looking forward to doing again.

Food today:
8.30am. roobios tea for breakfast.
2.30pm. late lunch/tea
One Co-op Belgian Caramel & Chocolate Cream Choux Bun (am pretty sure my Healthy Extra calcium quota was in this!)
roobios tea
bruschetta with olive oil & tomatoes
4.30pm. 1 banana, 1 fresh fig, 1 large fresh medjool date
8.45pm. Dinner
1/5 of bulghur wheat salad with pumpkin, sesame & sunflower seeds, fresh parsley and chopped red pepper, lemon juice & olive oil
3 heaped tablespoons 2% fat cottage cheese 

I also peeked at the variable scales and it showed 21:7 this morning and this evening it is at 21:10. I'm heartened now that when I go back to the doc's next month I WILL see a proper loss.

I am allowing myself up to 2000 calories a day. From the calculations for a sedentary lifestyle for someone of my weight, I can eat up to 2282 cals to lose approx 2 lbs a week.

I also picked up during my shopping a few calorie and syn counted treats to have every day. With me it is when I feel deprived or without something that I go off the rails. So having something nice but 'naughty' to have every day is my keeping it real strategy. After all this is a mode of eating I am going to have for the rest of my life!

I wonder if tomorrow is going to be a swim day?

Thursday, 16 September 2010

Day 22 Thoughts on swimming

I was just checking through my diary and noticed that in July I started swimming on the 10th with 30 laps, and 22 days after I swam 64 laps - a whole mile!

Hurrah for me. I've done it before, so of course I can do it again. Swimming is fun. And I do enjoy it. Its the getting there that seems like a mountain. Why?

I remember a few years ago I would walk to the pool in the morning, swim, then visit the library on the way back home. Now that's a nice little loop. Let's try that tomorrow. I have a couple of books that can go back now.

Off to dream of bathing beautiful me...

Day 22 More interesting suggestions on helping that weightloss journey

I'm on a real reluctance to do 'exercise'. I am smiling wryly at myself now. However, today I found, courtesy of the lovely lady blogger at Swimming it Off, a vid done by the BBC which has lots of helpful suggestions to aid the weightloss journey.

Here's what I gleaned from watching all the parts:

1. low fat dairy products will help because the calcium in the dairy helps bind fats so they get excreted from the gut and there is therefore less absorption.
2. Variety increases the urge to eat, so avoid buffets.
3. Increasing daily activity in everyday actions will incrementally increase the calories burned per day without seemingly too much effort and is easily incorporated.
4. eating a breakfast with a little more protein helps suppress appetite, and keeps you going til lunchtime.
5. A session of exercise burns calories initially, but the benefit is that the body will keep burning calories at a higher rate than normal for up to 24 hours later.
6. Watch the portion sizes! Eating healthy food in excess also leads to overweight. Measure everything.
7. The same meal in soup form stays in the stomach longer, keeping it distended for longer, so hunger pangs are triggered later. Eat soup!
8. Be aware of how many calories are in foods, what may seem to be a low calorie option may by the size of the portion be just as calorific.
9. Choose the less calorific option when there is choice eg the thin crust margherita pizza instead of the thick crust pepperoni one, chicken salad with low fat vinaigrette instead of chicken salad with croutons and full fat creamy dressing, a piece of toast with jam instead of the danish pastry.
10. Use a smaller plate! Studies have shown people eat more when given more. Give smaller initial portions, and if still hungry, eat seconds.

:) all good stuff. I like soup. And cottage cheese. And eggs for breakfast. And it would be nice to have a new plate. And I am learning every day about portion sizes.

Today is a case in point. For some reason it seemed imperative that I have exactly a quarter of the SW recipe bolognaise I'd made from 500g lean mince beef this evening. I checked my SW handbook and it categorically stated the Healthy Extra portion for a Green day was 85g. So I calculated the Syns and told myself yes, I could have it, and a pile of frozen veg to round off the 100g spaghetti (weighed on my trusty new scale - delightful!) When all that food had been piled onto my plate I suddenly realised that actually it was a HUGE amount! But I was starving, so I ate. I started feeling full about 3/4 done but kept on going out of sheer cussedness, hmmm. And now I am stuffed and my tummy is EXTREMELY full, and I have learned my lesson. 85g of beef on a Green Day is the RIGHT amount. And perhaps I will start making 90g of spaghetti in future too.

The worrying about the amount of food is to do with the idea of being on a diet. But I can see and feel (poor tummy!) that those measurements given in the Handbook do work, and are quite generous enough.

So, Syns today: 6.5 for tsp sugar on my weetabix, extra 40g beef, tablespoon of tomato puree in the bolognaise and 1 tablespoon sugar on my bowl of strawberries/raspberries this afternoon.
I've eaten very well today - weetabix breakfast, a banana, vegetable omelet & sliced tomato for lunch, bowl of fruit midafternoon and spaghetti bolognaise with frozen veg for dinner. Had all my five a day and I certainly don't feel in the least bit deprived. :D

Early to bed today I think. Lots for my brain to gestate on.

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Day 21 On the Slimming World Plan

So lets get back on the wagon again. I've had a bit of a foodie tantrum over the last 24 hours - I believe it is because I was feeling worried and stressed about work, or rather the lack thereof. However, after some pep talking to myself ( and lots of cheerios!) I am feeling a bit more settled. And this evening one of my clients gave me a nice big cheque, which also made me feel MUCH better!

I worry too much about stability and security I think.

So, the plan is now to get on the Slimming World food choices. Today is a Green day, so I have had weetabix breakfast, 3 egg omelet with baked beans and boiled potatoes for lunch, with a half slice of ham (forgot to pop that in the omelet), half an apple (worms got the rest, hmpf), the inadvertent cheerios worrittin' snack, followed by 2 quorn burgers with salad with a few dribbles of lo-cal caesar dressing (yum yum) then anxiety eating - a dinner of spaghetti in alfredo (half fat creme fraiche) sauce with grated courgette fried with Fry Light. And a plain bagel. I put the rest in the freezer so I wouldn't be tempted. Total SYNS: 15 not counting the off plan cheerios (another 10 + 2 for the milk)

Went shopping and got new scale. That's going to make life a whole lot easier in the food weighing accurately. No more guesswork and hopefully I will start losing weight! Have also stuffed fridge with lots of yummy healthy stuff - strawberries, spinach, raspberries, cabbage. There's also an aubergine and carrots, courgettes, pepper, celery. Ooo - and tested out the scale. It measures 100g of pasta perfectly. And I will be able to portion out my butter too. Have been loathe to get any in case I wolfed it. Now I think I can get a 250g pat and chop it up into 25 separate freezable portions, enough for a month!

I don't like it when my fridge only has beer and alcohol in it. Friend is coming to visit this weekend - am sure he will make inroads! Must remember to include beer SYNS for the weekend :)

20 minute walk - hurrah for me! It was a beautiful sunny morning too, and even though my lower back started hurting, I persevered through it and did all my minutes to the park and back. Hugely happy! Let's do it again tomorrow. And the day after. And after...for 30 days. :)

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Day 20 I won't give in

Okay. I can see I have been far too lenient with my diet to actually lose any weight this last few weeks, and have certainly also been far too lenient on the exercise front. My baby steps have been done, however because they have been tiny, it is going to take a while before they show up on the scale!

Still I can take heart that in general I am not binging. This is the kind of food relationship I want. It has been a struggle though today to not throw in the towel and say 'stuff it' and stuff it in. :) I didn't go to get a loaf of bread & butter, or crumpets, or an extra bar of chocolate, or crisps today - though I did think about it, several times. I've drunk water and had tea instead. I've eaten a healthy snack of banana with yoghurt & honey instead. I've had an extra bowl of calorie counted cheerios instead. I've read a book instead. I've fallen asleep on the sofa instead.

This is a fight. For me. For feeling good. For being healthy. For being able to move without losing my breath. For being able to buy nice clothes in ordinary shops instead of the fat ladies catalog. I can do this.

I've been reviewing the Slimming World method. It has worked for me in the past. A combination of that and watching the calories/portions AND doing the exercise will get me the results. I know it is that simple - calories in calories out.

Extra calories yesterday - snack of cheerios & tea - 248 yesterday's total 1864

Today's calories - a rotund 2324 !!

I've had cheerios for breakfast, a second breakfast of baked beans, bacon & boiled potatoes, spaghetti marinara for lunch, bulghur wheat salad & ham for dinner, and 1/2 an apple, banana/greek yoghurt/honey and 6 squares of Cadbury's Whole Nut chocolate.

Exercise today: I walked from the garage to the bus stop & back - part of it was uphill, hmm, half a mile, walked from the bus stop by the pub to the doc's, the library & then home, another half mile. That was good. I felt puffed out a little going up the hill, but I did it :) I also noted on the bus that there are several good walking routes for me around here that I must explore. And near my garage is a great place for walking surrounded by nature - lots of people take their dogs up there.

Little and often. Little and often. I can do this. Walk. Move. Watch what's going in my mouth. Keep on with the good changes.

Day 20 Weigh Day

The Official Start Weight: 312.4 lbs or 142kg.
BP: 150/90

This is recorded for me at the Doc's, and they will be keeping an eye on my bp too.

I'm a tad disappointed that there hasn't been much difference, however I know that my eating habits are much much better than they used to be. At points during the last three weeks, my weight went up to 314 so this is good.

Time now to commit to the exercise plan, and to make it sacrosanct.

I'm also going to keep to Slimming World principles for the next month and see if my weight responds better to that. And will keep on with the food tracking.

Baby steps, baby steps...

Monday, 13 September 2010

Day 19 Adjusting

Today was a take stock day, and a back to 'normal'. :) Normal as in eating the kind of foods that keep my appetite satisfied and my visual brain happy! And of course, within the 2000 cal adult recommended daily intake.

My body helped today by taking my conscious brain out of the loop this evening. I've been asleep for all of this evening. It probably decided rest was the best thing to help. Thank you subconscious! Of course, maybe that lovely glass of freixenet cordon negro brut might have been a contributing factor...still full of lovely fizz and crisp taste two days after we opened it - yum.

Exercise got a 'null' points today. Will have plenty tomorrow - my car needs some TLC, dear old reliable thing that it is, so am walking back from the garage. Tomorrow is also weigh day at the doc's. And since I am on foot, and nearby, I might as well go swimming and spend some time at the library. I will also have an all day bus pass so that is an excuse to do some wandering about Oxford, window shopping in town might be fun, or a ramble over to the Museum of Natural History to check out a few more curiosities at the Pitt Rivers Museum. Just checked the weather forecast - light rain, so it is brolly wielding weather. Just had a marvellous thought, maybe take a sketchbook and pencils with me. It's a good place to do drawings.

Calorie intake today: a sweet sweet...1616 !!
From a weetabix breakfast, 7 oz potatoes with bulghur wheat salad and 2 slices ham for lunch, a crisp apple from my own tree as a snack, and an indulgent dinner of spaghetti with calorie counted home made tomato marinara sauce, and 2 oz cheese! Accompanied by that aforementioned glass of bubbly.

Day 19 Old Habits

Old habits are hard to break. Last night after a perfectly respectable high protein dinner I found myself sneaking back to the kitchen to create one of my favourite scoff snacks. (croissants filled with cream cheese & ham) I realised later that the reason I did that was because I had settled also into a previous behaviour routine for that evening (reading novels) which included that kind of behaviour as part of it - an old habit. Now I see it I will know to resist it more successfully in future.

To create an analogy - when I was a smoker, it was habit to have cigarettes whevener I was out for the evening with friends at a pub. Alcohol & fags went together in my mind. Today, when I go out for a social drink with friends or have a glass of wine or beer at home, that old habit/desire for a smoke is no longer there. I have successfully removed it from my behaviours. :) So, I can successfully remove this scoff snacking behaviour attached to my reading! I remember it took me a while to eradicate the alcohol/cigarette interdependency, so I am just going to be aware of it now.

I think not having tempting foods like that in the house as well helps! In future when I have guests I will only buy enough baked goods for only one meal at a time. Bread, cake, croissants, wraps, pitas, crisps exert a powerful siren call to my brain! For now, to help my little baby steps and to avoid very large course corrections I will do myself a favour and keep temptation out of the house.

When H was here she found a little NLP ( neuro-linguistic programming) pocketbook on my shelf that I had forgotten about. It is by Gillian Burn and is full of bite sized and easily digestible tips on how to change thinking, beliefs and behaviours for myself to create a positive difference in my life.

Here's one I like:
The mind needs repetition of information and regular review to enhance memory and generate a habit. E.g. repeating key information at the end of a presentation or lecture, repeating a new task you are learning for the first time until it feels more familiar, reviewing new material the next day and at regular intervals afterwards."

My blogging is a helpful behaviour in this respect. Instead of my just eating, berating myself, and feeling guilty about the scoff snacking, I am writing about it, analysing it, seeing the triggers around it, and making myself aware of the behaviour, so I can head it off earlier in future! And putting it into my blog, which I do keep reviewing now and then means I can see my progress in habit change too, which is enormously heartening. :)

It takes around 30 days to change or create a habit successfully, so I am going to keep on plugging away at this transformation I am attempting. It isn't just about tackling the overeating, it is about learning to be aware, to make choices for myself that benefit me and improve my life, my mood, my environment, my body. Treat myself like I treat someone I love and care for. Treat myself with kindness and praise and encouragement, just as I treat any person starting out on doing something new. I am going to make mistakes, goof up, backtrack and have bad days. The trick is to see it, acknowledge it, and know to be aware of the triggers and how to change them.

It is so good to take the blinkers off.

Extra calories yesterday: 645 for dinner and 1002 for the scoff snack
bringing total to - 3532
From ham and chicken with bulghur wheat salad, and 2 croissants filled with cream cheese and ham.

Goodness! A thousand calories from only one scoff snack! And to think in the past I might easily have eaten up to three of those in an evening. Tesco do croissants in packs of six and eight...urgh! I am really seeing now, how even though my general preferences for food are on the healthy side, how easy it is to overeat, and how even a seemingly small extra like one extra croissant makes so much difference especially when that behaviour is repeated often...

I am also beginning to see that regular effortful exercise is going to have be a large part of my new life, especially if I want to be able to partake of the odd baked goodie!

Sunday, 12 September 2010

Day 19 Allotment Party and Stephen Fry's Bored of the Dance...

Sunny day today, feeling good. Just listening to Stephen Fry's podcast on how much he loathes dancing...and modern music - heh.

Have been to the allotment lunch, and had a lovely time chatting to a few of the long timers. I got given a bunch of delicious english grown grapes right off the vine, teeny tiny, full of seeds and sweet. They looked like those grapes that are painted by Dutch Old Masters in the still lifes, gleaming and translucent.

Food calories today so far: a quite conservative 1885 !! Considering I have had a plateful of yummy home-made baked goodies too. All kindly cut out into small portions which I was so pleased about because then I could sample a few. :) I've made a guess at around 800 cals for the plate, which may be completely off. However I am pleased to report that after having a couple of pieces of chicken, and a few tablespoons of my own bulghur salad and the plate of goodies, together with a couple of small glasses of apple juice, I felt quite full and stopped eating. Last year I know I ate a great deal more! This year I desisted from sampling the delicious smelling spicy offerings from our Nepalese contingent, purely because all their lovely food is sadly fried or deep fried.

Breakfast today was continental caffe latte sweetened with vanilla sugar with french bread dunked in it. Again I am pleased to say, previously that bread would have been covered in butter, or maybe even nutella as well. As it was, it was perfectly delicious without.

My afternoon was rounded off with a small walk around the allotments, viewing all the things people have been growing, the structures they have been making for their potting sheds and to support and shelter their plants. Plenty to inspire. And I have semi-arranged to meet up with a fellow allotmenteer on Sundays, hopefully that will encourage me to go there much more regularly.

My muscles are still slightly sore from yesterday's jaunt, so am taking it easy today. The only exertion I am making is to empty out some more boxes that have been lurking to clear out the clutter. Done a lot of chucking out and shredding this morning and am feeling quite energised by that. :)

Saturday, 11 September 2010

Day 18 Rococco Walk




Beautiful sunshine this afternoon after dark grey skies and heavy rain showers in the morning. Today my friend H & I went to Painswick in Gloucestershire to walk around the beautiful Rococco Gardens. It was mostly an amble for us, as I get out of puff quite easily still. Lots of little inclines and descents, a maze which H happily negotiated with me shouting out instructions from above, and lots of lovely follies, and benches for me to sit on! Beautiful gardens within espaliered fruit trees, and delicious looking vegetable plot, a plunge pool with its own spring, the whole place was also dotted with various sculptures, from etiolated metal herons by the big pond, to solid wooden sheep and massive iron cherries in the orchard. So I have a lovely day and a lovely trip and had plenty of exercise  - about 2 miles of rambling. A win:win on the exercise front!


On the calories front, a very satisfactory day too. :) A terrific 1810 !! As H was here, we had weekend treats - a croissant with strawberry jam & cafe latte, then a cup of tea & a scone with butter, baguette with ham, tomato & lettuce, more tea, and my dinner was the rest of the beef stew made earlier in the week, followed by a peach. Water is coming along well, 3rd big glass almost finished, and will have another before bed.

It's been a fabulous day. Tomorrow is a lunch date at the allotment, I'm hoping for another sunny afternoon.

Friday, 10 September 2010

Day 17 Swim Day!

I've done masses today, activity wise, so perhaps that is why I am feeling tired and drained. Almost every exertion I did required a small recuperation time, so progress was rather stop and start, but hey, :) we got there in the end.

Exercise!! Woke up unusually early this morning, so decided to go swimming. Hurrah for me!
32 laps - half a mile.

Came home and had breakfast, then got to tidying up, and calling garage about the broken wing mirror on my car that I found this morning. How I wish I had my own driveway. Next house, maybe. Lovely garage man screwed it back in and didn't charge me a thing. Now there's a man who isn't size-ist. I always get good service from them.

Calorie intake: a twirletting...2216 !!
From Cheerios breakfast, bacon & egg lunch, pork pie snack, smoked salmon in cream cheese sauce pasta dinner followed by a very yummy coconut flapjack brought by H who came to visit today. Made by her own self, so how could I say no? We also imbibed some rather nice Freixenet cava. It tasted so creamy from all the bubbles bursting in the mouth. Evening finished off with a viewing of Persuasion with the very delicious (and fat-free!!) youthful version of Ciaran Hinds as Captain Wentworth. H disagreed, she reckons he is more attractive now he is older.

All in all, another day of mindfulness. The pie was a lapse, yes, but it was counted into the day's eating.

Got a bit of a gyppy tummy today. I think perhaps it was all the egg, or the pastry or perhaps all that rich cheese in the pasta sauce. Or the coconut... Or all that garlic? Hmm, will have to investigate on another occasion. Or perhaps I have just become sensitive to alcohol now my stomach has more time to think about what it is doing?

It's interesting, thinking about the sensitivities, normally I don't think, and just shovel stuff in. A change for the better :)

Thursday, 9 September 2010

Day 16 More baby steps

I read a book recently: Making the big leap by Suzy Greaves. What got me to pick it up at the library was the subtitle: Coach yourself to create the life you really want.

One of the things that remained with me afterwards was the idea of taking baby steps. Instead of committing to big changes right away and frightening myself back into my comfortable rut. :)

So here's baby step for Day 16 - I've made an appointment next Tuesday with the nurse at our local surgery to get myself a check over and my weight recorded. More of the accountability I guess. Will ask them if I can come in once a month for weighing. And this evening I'm collecting my new electronic food scales that will weigh 1g accurately.

:D also means I can put my whimsical bathroom scales away, and just concentrate on being mindful about food, and upping my activity.

Have also spent part of the day looking at revamping my CV and portfolio, and having ideas of how to market myself to prospective employers. Time for a change in more ways than eating well and being more active. I have often felt that what I do at work is not very much and also not terrifically memorable or great in any way. But having looked over what I have done this year I am really quite pleased. There is enough here for employers to see I have skills, capabilities and experience to tackle all sorts of communication projects. :) Me good! Hurrah for me!

Am out tonight, so have factored in a couple of pints for the evening.
Calories for the day so far: A spiffing...1030 !
Cheerios for breakfast, egg salad for lunch, and tomato bruschetta for tea. I'm feeling quite full, so don't think I'll be wanting much this evening after coming back apart from perhaps some fruit & yoghurt, which usually works out around 200 cals.

Really happy at going out tonight, am seeing a band called Message to Bears which does rather sublime sounding music, almost lullabyish. Should be an interesting evening.

Friday morning: music last night was splendid, the support and the headliner bands both got on stage for a finale of 7 part harmony ( or that is what my friend told me it was) all I know, is it sounded great and all of them looked like they were having a great time.

Final calories for day were 1341 with a pint of draught Guinness and a half pint of diet lemonade. I did make myself the fruit thing, but was soooooo tired I ate one bite and didn't want it. Note to self - late night eating is usually a bad idea...

Water: a little low, 3 pints

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Day 15 And another thing

I forgot to write down what I discovered a couple of days ago:

I can walk up the stairs now without getting quite so puffed.
this is so amazing for me - I can now come down the stairs properly, right foot, then left foot, and without having to hold the bannister.

That truly is fab. For a long time now, I've had difficulty trusting my dodgy ankle and dodgy knee. Ligament damage from a fall in 2004 which took me almost a year to recover from. And I have found that I've become increasingly creaky in the mornings over the last year or so. So mornings meant a S-L-O-W shuffle down those stairs, clutching the bannister for dear life.

Heh. No more now. I'm not running up those stairs nope, but I'm coming down them okay now. Amazing what a tiny bit of movement has done for me. That, and no longer feeling stuffed to the gills, and overburdened in the tum every night. I seem to be sleeping deeper too.

Happy days :D

Day 15 Not perfect and it is okay

Calories for today: Drumroll.... An astounding....1921!!!

I've fitted in Cheerios for breakfast, chilli pork noodles for lunch and a mozzarella salad for dinner, plus a banana & a peaches with vanilla sugar & yoghurt pudding. All stuff I like to eat which doesn't have a hint of diet about it.

I've decided to stop stressing about my exercise regime. It is expecting myself to adhere to some kind of standard of being perfect, setting myself up to fail, and also creating a way to think of myself in unkind terms. So I'm desisting. When I am ready, the exercise desire will come, and I will be so happy doing whatever I do that it will not be a chore, it will be a pleasure. :)

So hooray for me! I am so full of pride with myself for my efforts these past two weeks on the food front. Not made it to the doc's either to get weighed - I guess I'm still not ready for that. And it is okay. I know how much I was the last time I was at the doc's and well, am due back there in October, so perhaps we'll wait till then.

There's no rush. It has taken me all these years to get to the weight I am now. And well, I can take some time getting it off too. What is important is I understand the reasons and triggers for my over eating and address them one by one. I want a healthy relationship with food. I love food. And I want to enjoy it and feel good at the same time.

I really liked Sean Anderson's post yesterday when he talked about the wrong battle. I'm learning to be friends with me too.

Excuse me while I go munch on this yummy corn on the cob. It's so sweet it doesn't need butter. In fact, interestingly I haven't missed butter at all. Probably because there hasn't been much bread. :) I did have a look at some recipes online for waffles & pancakes, french toast and other yummies I used to indulge in regularly. I think I will still eat them, just not as often, and not as much. I'm learning about portions, real appetite, calories and nutritional value. Maybe those treats will be something I will share with a new man when he appears in my life :) Now that's a lovely thought.

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Day 14 Glued to my seat

Exercise is becoming a bit of a mountain for me now. It is daft, because when I am out there, walking or swimming, I love it. Leaving the house though seems to be an upward struggle! Must be some kind of internal dialogue going on there, some fear I have to process. It is something I have noticed I do, a lot of. Stay at home rather than go out. And seem to be very easily led to give up going out at any opportunity.

Take yesterday for instance. I could have gone for a walk, got my wellies on and put up a brolly. And there was absolutely no reason to not jump into the car and drive to the pool to do a few laps. Yet I allowed a little heavy rain to put me off. I allowed the fact it was a miserable rainy dark cold night to put me off. Like this afternoon I allowed a heavy rain shower to justify my not going to the allotment "because it would be too muddy" - hmpf. Plenty to do apart from dig on a lottie! Seems I have a Houdini streak when it comes to exertion...heh, just a lot less glamorous ;)

If I had made a commitment to a friend to meet them somewhere I'd have been there, short of transport trouble. I guess this is a wake-up call for me to treat myself and my exercise time & leisure activity time as well as I might treat the time & presence of a friend: with respect, commitment and willingness to do.
I am just as important as any friend of mine.

I can see there is more stuff here for me to be tapping on. Oh yes, the tapping is EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique, which I have found helpful in dealing with other issues and stresses during this last year. I like this site, full of hope and great stories of people helping themselves and others live happier lives.

So, commitment to self. To exercise. To things that make me happy when I am there and doing them. Turn up! Even if it is just for a 5 minute walk. Even if it is only 2 laps! Movement is the key. As of course keeping a mindful eye on the intake!

Today's calories:
A totally splendid... 2059!! Hurrah for me! An idea of what constitutes a 'normal' calories for a woman my age of moderate activity.

And the best is, I feel full. :)

Weetabix & a mug of tea for breakfast; mozzarella, tomato & potato salad with olive oil & balsamic vinegar plus corn on the cob for lunch; french bread, tomatoes, olive oil bruschetta with 3 roast chicken drumsticks and PUDDING! Yummy strawberries with a little vanilla sugar and a generous heaping of fullfat Greek yoghurt. Late night snack: banana, mug of tea. Water today: 3 pints, drinking last one before bed.

Oh yes, yesterday I finished with a late night snack of 1 peach, microwaved with 1 tsp sugar & dolloped with a couple of tablespoons of Greek yoghurt, absolutely delicious and worth the extra 162 K.

When I was making the salad, I weighed the potatoes, and going by some Slimming World principles from previous attempts, I only cooked 7 oz of them. That was 5 small Anya potatoes. One portion. It looked so tiny, so little. But when I combined it with the mozzarella and tomatoes, it was just right.

Another clue to myself: in the past I have often cooked far too much, and because I had, and it was there, I ate it.

These last couple of weeks writing down all my food, and my thoughts about exercise and everything else have been really clarifying in many many ways. I love holding up this mirror to myself, and for the first time ever I am seeing my habits clearly without judgement or smoothing it over with some excuse. It's cool. I like it :)

The next biggie for me in the going out of the house stakes is getting to the doc's to weigh myself. I have some scales, but they're a little variable. Yes, tomorrow will be a good day to get to the doc's, hit the pool and return some books to the library. And if I can do it, perhaps walk, instead of drive. Mollycoddling myself since my op has been a habit. One I have to stop. Exercise is good. Have to remember all those nice things I get to see when I walk places...

Monday, 6 September 2010

Day 13 Swim times

Ooh, I've been sitting here stewing because it is cats & dogging outside, then had a Bright Idea. Why not see if an Aqua Aerobics class is on tomorrow? So have checked out the new online timetable and OMG, there is swimming, adult lengths between 8 and 10 tonight! That is a new departure, usually that time has been blanked off to the public, so looks like I am going to get a chance to work off my noodles :)

Swim times adult lengths weekdays:
Every morning from 6.10 am til 9 am 
Every lunchtime 12 noon to 1.30 pm.
8pm to10pm every day except Weds

Sat morning 8am to 9am
evening 7.30 to 8.30pm
Sun morning 8 am to 9.30 am
evening 6pm to 7pm

aqua Aerobics
Mondays 9.30am to 10.15am 
Tuesdays 8.15 pm to 9pm

:D Now I have no excuse. The pool is there, it is a 10 minute walk from my house, a 2 minute drive when wet or cold. And until the City Council shut it down it is MY much valued amenity!

Day 13 Eyes bigger than...

Yep. Done it again. Made too much AND ate it all. Those starving children in Africa must be thanking me all right. What was with that expression anyway? It is totally illogical that if I ate all the food on my plate that might help some poor kid in Ethiopia? Sheesh - the things that one's parents inculcate into one's head. Poor subconscious has been battling with that all its life no doubt, trying to save as many starving kids as possible...and it has all ended up blanketing my frame. Hmpf.


Logic 1. Listen to my stomach. It will tell me when I am full.
Logic 2. listen to my stomach. It will tell me when it is empty and I am hungry.
Logic 3. Test out Logic 2 by drinking a glass of water, as Logic 2 is not quite compos mentis. If that satisfies then I was thirsty, not hungry. If I am still feeling empty, then have something to eat, that I fancy.
Logic 4. Eat what I want, and be aware of the portions, and stop when I am full. Basically Logic 1...

Nice little cycle.

In the meantime, I am going to take this full tummy and go for a little stroll.

Food calories today: 2340
Weetabix breakfast, beef stew with rice for lunch, banana & 9 squares Cadbury's Whole Nut chocolate for snacks, then the gut bustin' dinner - stirfried pork, veg & edamame bean noodles. 3 pints water, 2 mugs tea.

Today I have been reading Zaababy's blog. She is so much fun. I love her stories, her exhortations, her encouragement, her triumphs - am rooting for her continuing success! I also like how she has managed her weight-loss by living a normal life. That is the most encouraging thing of all. She has taken her enemy 'food' and turned it into her friend, her colleague, her neighbour. Her and food are on good terms :) And with her example of going for a walk, yep, I think that will be okay. Here and back to the park for me. About a mile.

Grrr. It is raining. Not too heavily, but heavy enough to get soaked. Bother. My grand stroll is going to have to wait until later. Heh, midnight stroll. I could take the long route to my local! That's up a small incline for about quarter a mile, a bit of flat, and a steep hill descent. If the rain doesn't stop then my great walk is re-scheduled for tomorrow morning.

Sunday, 5 September 2010

Day 12 Sleep

Woke up this morning at the ridiculous hour of 4.15, groggy and achy. I got some audio CDs of Louise Hay's yesterday, I love getting parcels through the post! So popped them on to while away the early morning hours. Rest of the day was spent reading a couple of romantic novels. Some days escapism is what is required. Weather cool, rainy. Seemed to require a long sleep this afternoon, to make up for the early morning waking! And I find sometimes when I am feeling a bit emotional (PMT I think) sleep is good. Keeps me away from the fridge too.

My food choices today have been all about convenience. I took the skin of the last piece of  chicken, hurrah! :D finally! I am getting my head better round this 'eat what is better and enjoy it just as much'...instead of giving in to the momentary 'but it tastes good'. I know eventually it will become automatic nature to take the skin off, just like now it is automatic not to buy cigarettes, automatic to choose a cup of tea instead of a bottle of beer or glass of wine to relax.

Breakfast: 85g french baton, 1 tbsp honey, Organic Clipper tea with milk; Snack: 3 pieces roast chicken; Snack :170g raspberries; Lunch: 3 pieces roast chicken, banana
TOTAL cals so far: 1549

Wondering what to have for supper. Question: Am I hungry? Tummy feels empty. Big salad?
One of the apples from my tree? Heh, that will be nice.

Plenty of water today. Mood much better than this morning. Listening to the affirmation stuff has really helped.

Thought on sleep - maybe because I am fat I need to sleep more and catnap? Not sure, have always felt sleepy after lunch and at around 5.30pm all my life, as well as being a night owl...mostly now though I get to sleep at a decent hour and wake around 7 unless I am feeling emotional, then sleep patterns can get seriously disturbed.

10pm. Big salad it is. Half a romaine lettuce, 1/4 red and yellow pepper, 1 tomato, 1/2 a really ripe avocado (would have been the whole but half was overripe), last of the Ainsley Harriot garlic parmesan croutons, around 12 or so (whole packet is 411 cals - next time I buy them I'm going to count how many are in the packet), 3 tablespoons lo cal caesar salad dressing; orange sugarfree jelly for pudding. Less than 300 cals, heh 271 :) now that's something to smile about AND it looks & tastes absolutely delicious.

Total cals for day: woohoo 1820.

Saturday, 4 September 2010

Day 11

Cloudy and sunny today. Did lots of rushing around this morning and a lot of reading online this afternoon. Cat very pleased because I got the 'right' food for her - she does not like substitutes!

Food: 2173 cals
made the mistake of being ultra hungry when I started cooking, and had eyes bigger than my tummy I now find! Next time, half a pack of rice noodles. Everything I ate today was healthy - mostly unprocessed. A habit I have been in for quite a few years now with occasional slipbacks.

Breakfast: weetabix & milk, roobios tea; Lunch: big salad with avocado, croutons & lo cal caesar dressing; snacks: 85g french baton with 1/2 tbsp olive oil & tomatoes, roobios tea, a corn on the cob, banana; Dinner: whole pkt rice vermicelli stirfried with sliced pork chop, edamame beans, 1/2 pkt stirfry veg & handful of spinach, 1/2 tbsp sesame oil, 1/2 tbsp olive oil

I've drunk at least 3 pints of water, will probably have 1 more before bed.

Exercise today: swimming! 32 laps

Feeling pleasantly tired and slightly overfull. Happy glow.

Day 11 Truth

I've been reading Sean Anderson's blog today. In his first week he talks about telling the truth to ourselves, about being honest about food with ourselves. I think that is what I'm attempting here, with this online diary really. Plus it is nice to put my thoughts down in a concrete form. I'm also blogging for myself not for any one else to read, but just in case there are followers later, I want to make something clear. For the squeamish stop reading if TMI.

That op I referred to in my last post Day 10 Shape Changes, it was nothing to do with bariatic surgery. I had a big cyst that was starting to interfere with my bending over so my doc felt it ought to come out. Because I am big and fat, instead of nice neat laparoscopic scars, they had to perform open surgery, so I have an interesting railway track running vertically up my belly to my belly button. Nice.

I take heart however, heh, pun intended ;) from a friend who had open heart surgery and doesn't allow her scar to interfere with any kind of clothes she wants to wear. So if there comes a day when I will be able to wear a bikini or show off my flat tummy, having that scar won't bother me now.

Initially it did, now, it is going to be just another part of me I am learning to love.

Friday, 3 September 2010

Day 10 Shape changes

I found a photo of myself taken mid 2008, during the two year period that my weight stabilized around 19 st 8 lbs (274 lbs or 124.3 kg). To get to that shape and weight again is my immediate goal. I'm amazed at that woman's midsection! Perhaps I am wearing 'hold-me-in' pants :D

During that two year period I was much more active. I worked as a carer for 4 months, which involved lots of moving about, quite unlike my usual career of sitting in front of a computer. I was walking most places within a mile radius of my home - to the pool, to the shops, to the park. I learned how to dinghy sail. I went to 6 music festivals which meant I had to hike with all my camping gear from the car park and walk to all the stages to hear the music. I volunteered for charity doing outside stuff.

I guess ever since my operation I have been on a pity me streak. Daft. So what if I have a huge unsightly scar down my belly, at least I am still on this earth and I have my health and the opportunity to change my life for the better. The 'low' feeling today is probably because I haven't had any exercise. And also because the friend who was coming is not now. But really that doesn't matter, because I can have fun by myself. I can do things, choose to go somewhere, find pleasure in other activities.

Weather is set to be fair tomorrow. Perhaps a revisit to the White Horse at Uffington is on the cards tomorrow. Now that would be an achievement. Rather like climbing up the steep cobbled slope to the top of St Michael's Mount in Cornwall in 2005 the year I finally recovered from my strained ligament damage from a fall in 2004. There is something so absolutely wonderful about being somewhere where one can feel on the very top of the world.

Liberation. Freedom. A sense of unity with nature.

Yep, I'll take me a dose of that.

Day 10 Reading in the Sun

Sunny day again. I sat in the garden and read a novel, the first in quite a few weeks. I have been reading non-fiction mostly this year, a lot of self-help, psychology, alternative thinking tomes all geared towards firing me up with enthusiasm to change my life.

I've eaten all the rest of the white rolls I bought yesterday. With sliced ham & sliced tomatoes. And all the roast chicken. Cat helped with that!  With the bowl of Cheerios for breakfast, along with 1/3 bar of Cadbury's Dairy Nut chocolate, a banana/strawberry smoothie and a whole pot of Dr Oetker's Onken Wholegrain Peach that brings the day's total to 3409 cals.

I am astounded actually. It's a lot less than I thought it would be. And also it is a lot less than I was used to eating before this past 10 days. Normally all those rolls would be slathered with butter as well, and I may well have had cheese with it, and perhaps a bag or two of crisps - the grab bag size, extra big. And possibly a beer or two, as it is the weekend. And the whole bar of chocolate...cheese & crackers...

Even though I know I have over-eaten today, it is a huge improvement in my eating habits of the past months. Today & yesterday I suppose are the equivalent of my going off course a little, and my mindfulness navigator's job is to bring the good ship back on the right trajectory again.

Good other thoughts about the food intake - I have eaten a decent amount of fruit & veg. If I do feel peckish tonight there is beetroot, carrots and peppers available to snack on. No chocolate craving tonight, which is great. Water consumption is down though, will drink some more before bed tonight.

No exercise today.

Mood today a little down.

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Crop Rotation

It struck me today that now I have planted the potato patch I ought to make a decision on what sort of rotation I'm going to have. I have 4 raised beds, the large potato patch, and a section of ground in between some sad raspberries and currants.

Best advice suggests a five year rotation, but I haven't the space for that. So it is going to be 4, I think that will work okay.
peas & beans
brassicas & leafy (cabbage, cauli, broccolli, brussel sprouts, kale, spinach, chard)
alliums & roots (onions, leeks, garlic, parsnips, turnips, carrots, salsify, schorzonera, jerusalem artichokes)
and to fit in wherever I can,
sweetcorn, melon, squash, courgettes, tomatoes, peppers, aubergines, artichokes, flowers

mmm, hope I get to plant as many of those as I can.

Must order some garlic & raspberries soon.

Day 9 More Puff Required!

Went for a walk this evening. Lovely sunny day, very hot, bright sunshine at 6pm.

Maybe I was feeling a bit stressed anyway, but I ran out of puff! Had to sit down on the park benches every so often to stop my back from aching.

A few things could have contributed to this: one, I was wearing MBTs, which give my calves, thighs and butt muscles an extra workout so maybe I was expending more energy; two, it was too hot for me and I wasn't hydrated enough; three, I was just a little tired today from yesterday's exertions down the lottie and at the pool. It has been a few days since I did much exercise. Am so very glad I went, even though it was a struggle.

Have also had a look online for walking groups I might join. There's Natural England's Health Walks finder which found a couple of places I can go to discover walking as a pleasure! For later once I have worked up my stamina a little more. One of the walks outlined by the Goring Gap Health Walks Group is something I think I can manage fairly soon - it is a 3 mile walk altogether incorporating a stop at a nice pub should I wish for a sit down and a drink. :) It's a 12 mile drive so there's that pleasure of driving through pretty countryside as well as walking in it.

Interesting though how a 20 minute walk seems so much harder than swimming for 40 minutes. Cool environment and support of my body in the water probably helps. So while I am getting more used to the walking I am going to start upping the swimming from next week. Another reason for becoming more proficient at walking - I have been learning how to play golf and to truly enjoy the game I have to be able to at least walk through 3 holes without feeling too exerted to keep on going. My coach said the idea was to keep going forward as fast as possible, at the moment that just isn't possible. Plus the swinging action gives me terrible backache, a huge clue to developing my abdominal strength and losing some of that big belly!

Exercise: 20 minute walk around park, slow-moderate pace

Food: 2428
Breakfast: 2 weetabix with 150ml ss milk, roobios tea
Lunch: 2 cups cooked rice with 3 rashers crispy bacon, 1/2 cup peas boiled, a slug of sesame oil (approx 1.5 tsp) soy sauce & maggi seasoning plus Walls Solero
Snack: banana, pork pie
Dinner: White roll filled with sliced tomato and 1 slice ham, 2 roast chicken drumsticks, roobios tea
Water: 3 big glasses & I'm going to have another pint before bed
Middle of night cravings: corn on the cob, 2 cooked beetroot with 1 tbsp vinegar

Slow day, slightly tired out day, happy at monitoring food day. Maybe not always the healthiest choices but it was what I wanted and because I had it I am feeling fine and not deprived. Stuff in moderation.

 Yesterday was a big veg day, today has been more about protein.

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Day 8

Active day today. Also sunny, very hot, some breezes occasionally. Feeling good.

Breakfast: 3 weetabix with 250ml ss milk, 1 tsp sugar, roobios tea, banana (very full!)
Lunch: 100g (uncooked) wholewheat spaghetti with 120g prawns, 2 tomatoes, 1/2 chilli pepper, garlic clove & 1 tbsp olive oil; strawberries with 2 tsp sugar & 75ml half fat creme fraiche, 2 glasses water
Snack: 2 corn on the cob, boiled plus 2 oz strong cheddar cheese
Dinner: Approx 1.5 cups boiled white rice with sliced pork chop strifried in 1 tbsp olive oil with 1/2 pkt mixed stirfry veg & edamame beans, 1/4 pkt spinach, soy sauce, slug of sesame oil, maggi seasoning, freshly ground pepper (majorly full after this)
Sweet craving around 11 pm: battled this with cocoa drink made with 2 tsp sugar, 200ml milk, 1tsp cocoa powder ( I must get some lo-cal chocolate drink sachets )

Exercise: YES!
1 hour digging and messing about at the allotment in the hot sunshine
40 mins swimming ( 34 laps HOORAY! Half a mile... )

The digging left me with tremble hands after. Maybe not quite so much enthusiasm next time. Pace myself, do some planting or weeding as well. The swimming just was ace. I didn't want to overdo on my first day back in nearly two weeks. Slow and steady to build it up again to the 1 mile I did on 1st August.

Sad news: Our City Council are closing my local pool to fund a new one 2 miles away from me. I guess I will no longer be able to walk to the pool in a year's time...heh, perhaps I will be cycling to the new one instead! With an extra good lock on the bike because new pool is going to be in high crime area. Hmpf.

Some pictures of my day today.

Heh - I'm so happy to see that little shoot. :D

Some thoughts about my food intake today. I feel very full, so perhaps I have had too big portions. Next time I can do without the rice with the meat & edamame bean stirfry; 1 corn on the cob instead of two; strawberries au naturel; cut the oil consumption to 1/2 tablespoon instead of 1 tbsp. And eating 2 instead of 3 weetabix. Well, that was a mistake, the extra one fell out of the to say that big brekkie kept me going until half two, through work time, digging the lottie AND my 40 mins swim session.

Perhaps I could consider big breakfast, big carbs for lunch, protein & veg only for dinner? And pick up some tiny chocccie thing I can freeze in small pieces and eat one bit whenever I get the urge for sweet chocolatey. Hmm, chocolate. Normally I don't crave it, why now? PMT?