Sunday 14 October 2012

sunny october day

Pottering around in the garden day, doing tidying up chores. It's a crisp, bright, gorgeous autumn day, with a brisk breeze and a blue, blue sky. I'm feeling positive today, despite setbacks on the work front. The economic downturn has now affected my biggest client, so this winter I am going to be looking for a new direction for work. I'll be asking myself many questions about what I really want out of my life, and where I want to be, and what I want to be doing. :)

Good eating continues. Still keeping the food diary, and am now trusting myself to keep my portions reasonable. Not yet registering on my bathroom scales, but a visit to the doctor is scheduled this coming week, so I will get myself weighed there.

The last few weeks I have been learning to bake bread and that has given me much quiet satisfaction and joy in my efforts. I've also noticed that my energy levels are up, I am pottering around and digging into long forgotten nooks and crannies of my house, and generally being much more active. I have all this amazing stuff, and now it is all in the forefront of my brain perhaps I will actually use some of it! My prescription for myself is to spend less time on the computer and in books, and more time doing active stuff, like gardening, house beautifying, painting, drawing, being creative with materials and going on walks. Feeding my creative soul. :)

It's really good to feel okay finally. I know this may only be a small blip up and maybe I might have more days of feeling dire ahead, but for now I'm quietly happy and it feels great.

Saturday 22 September 2012

Ambling around Henley

Well, I calculated a 2.5 mile amble around Henley during my efforts supporting my friend on his Challenge Henley Triathlon last weekend. Heh. He did very well, doing the whole course in just over 13 and a half hours, his first ever triathlon, and first ever swimming race - that's a 2 mile swim, a 112 mile cycle ride and a 26 mile run. That man has HUGE stamina and simply amazing GUTS. I only hope one day I can do a mini triathlon to emulate his determination. A great friend to have, showing me by example that anything can be done if one makes the effort.

Logging food intake continues, although eating well has gone a little awry recently. Still every day is a new beginning, and every day is a new challenge. I will get the hang of this eventually, so I can trust myself to treat myself well.

Raspberries coming thick and fast from the garden this week, yum. Been pottering around in there, enjoying the sunshine and the activity. Perhaps this Sunday I'll do another little amble around another pretty place. All movement is good.

Tuesday 11 September 2012

getting moving again

My lovely sister visited this weekend and came bearing gifts! The best kind, non-fattening! Groovy shower wash that smells fab, all citrusy and full of get up and go to wake me up in the morning, and a nifty gadget to encourage exercise even when I'm sitting down.

This nifty bit of kit is a stationary cycle that I sit on a chair, or lounge on a sofa to pedal. Handy to get in a bit of aerobic activity when I would ordinarily be quite still. 5 minutes here and there all adds up :) Plus it is all good practice for when I can get back on my bike again.

I'm also doing a bit of strength training again. A few upper body exercises with some 1 kg, 1.5kg and 2 kg dumbells, some sit ups and leg raises, and a couple of lower body exercises. I read somewhere that strength training helps with bone density, and can decrease the possibility of osteoporosis.

Been out and about as well - to the garden centre, to the local shopping mall and pottering around in the garden. From being pretty much inert to just ambling about is a great improvement. I am certain all this activity is contributing to my positive mood.

Looking forward to next weekend. My athletic friend is coming to stay. He has signed up for an IronMan Triathlon in Henley, so I'm toddling along to cheer him on. Henley is a pretty town, so in between I'll be doing a little exploring, and getting in even more exercise!

Saturday 1 September 2012

11 weeks

Autumn's here now and I'm 11 weeks into recording my food intake. Most weeks it has been a dismal record of how much MORE calories I am eating than the norm of 1800-2000 for an average middle-aged female, but I've kept on recording the stats, yay for me :)

Every morsel that went in my mouth got weighed, measured and logged. Keeping track of everything highlighted how in the months I didn't do this before, all those meals I ate were definitely even higher in calories from the unmeasured olive oil, butter, pasta, potatoes, not to mention the 'good' snack foods I used as treats: hand-cooked crisps and dry roasted cashewnuts, gourmet ice-cream by the bowlful - eek!

That was the bad. Now for the good.

Doing the food diary has helped me. I can see now how making informed choices can gain me the result I want. In my best week I had a day when my total calories were less than 1500 but my tummy was full, and my tastebuds were satisfied! It has also shown me how my depression is connected to what and how much I eat.

The week I felt best, I was eating plenty of vegetables and fruit, eggs, lean meat and fish, pulses, soya milk, soya beans, quorn products, lower fat cheese & dairy and minimum high fat cheese, minimum milk and milk products, minimum breads, grains and bakery products. My daily calorie average for that week was 2150.

When I felt worst, I was scoffing packets of biscuits, buttercream laden cake, huge platefuls of pasta, pizza, sugary puddings and desserts, hunks of cheese, whole loaves of bread, croissants, toast with lashings of butter, on top of my 'healthy' meals. My daily calorie average was just under 3500.

:D documented personal scientific proof!
Fruit+veg at every meal might be an idea, and to keep the starchy grain carbs down. My best good mood & well-feeling body meals were those that featured plenty of lean protein, and a large amount of veg. I found I do miss bread & baked stuff, so I am having them but in precise calorie documented amounts. Wholemeal rolls, which are delicious and filling with a tablespoon of mayo, sliced ham and salad. A pitta stuffed with veggies or accompanying a home made crushed chickpea hommos meets all my comfort food expectations and that food eye gets satisfied too.

The last 11 weeks have been a struggle. Some days I would wake up and doing anything was a real effort. Luckily, the routine of measuring foodstuffs has been helpful, as has keeping the diary. Week 10 was my most successful and most healthy week. Week 11 has gone a bit to pot, but week 12 is coming up, and as my fridge is full of fab veg, juicy fruit and soya milk getting back on the good vibe will be easy.

My brother is supposed to come visit today. I haven't seen him since the end of April when I had day surgery for spiking my hand trying to deseed an avocado. He's a vegetarian at the moment because it helps his psoriasis, and provides me an excuse to be creative in the kitchen! I really enjoy cooking, and love it when there is someone else to cater for.

I've been tossing around veggie ideas in my head and since the supermarket didn't send any cheddar, so instead of quorn chilli its going to be veggie fajitas tonight, yummy onions, mushrooms, peppers and courgettes with some Old El Paso packet seasoning with sour cream & chives, a ton of lettuce and some home made tomato & onion salsa. I might make some home made bread for my brother to take home. I've found making bread by hand is immensely therapeutic, especially accompanied by the radio!

I've discovered in my food diarying adventures that a little of what I really want makes me feel happier than lots of half fat or lo-cal substitutes. Sour cream is lower in calories than creme fraiche, and so much better tasting than zero calorie Slimming World recommended fromage frais. I get those mini chocolate coated ices on a stick, so a sweet treat is only 135 calories and I'm not filling the bowl with scoops and scoops of ice-cream. I don't buy as much cheese now, and when I do have it, I weigh it, so I know how many calories I'm having. I still get to eat cheese and biscuits - I get the low fat crackers now, and pass on the butter. This week I have some ricotta, so I think ricotta & spinach cannelloni slathered in home made calorie measured tomato sauce and a little parmesan might feature in one of this week's meals.

A friend pointed me towards the Hairy Bikers latest TV series - The Hairy Dieters. Those guys make me laugh, and I really enjoyed seeing how well they did. Inspiration too for healthy food that is full of taste & flavour. Yum. Really great too seeing them whizzing around on their bicycles instead of their motorbikes! Might get their cookbook and help them notch up their sales against EL James's Fifty Shades novel...

This week, I can see my ankle bones! I guess it is because of last week's good eating plus maybe I've lost a bit of weight, because it does seem a bit easier to get around and my knees are feeling good. I've also started doing a few handweight exercises, and sit ups & leg lifts lying on my bed. I'm trekking up and down the stairs, and boogie-ing in the kitchen to the radio. Getting down to the ground to exercise is a definite no-no still. I'm looking forward to the day I get to bend down again with straight legs without getting my guts in a painful squirm. And even better when I can paint my toes again :) Perhaps this weekend I will feel well enough and brave enough to get outside for a little walk. Part of how my depression manifests is the extreme reluctance to get out in the world beyond my front garden. Got to get over that, or my car battery will die again, hmpf.

My lovely friend came to stay a couple of weeks ago, and cleared my jungle of all the overtaking weed triffids. He pruned back all the roses and tied up all my raspberries, and best of all, cleared out a tonne of decrepit gardening stuff cluttering up the place. Eureka! I have a garden again! That really helped me feel better too, as I can go outside into the sunshine and feel good. This morning I had a raspberry right off the cane. Aren't they enormous!


This is an autumn fruiting variety, either Joan J or Autumn Treasure. Each fruit is about an inch long, massive, and really tasty. Hope more canes grow next year. I was too late to get the two plums off the plum tree, the birds had 'em, but I've got my eye on that lone apple gracing the apple tree. This year the wet weather has really played havoc with fruit trees, making insect pollination difficult and ruining blossom. Perhaps I will plant the plum into the ground once its leaves fall off and see if that will help it fruit better next year, and save the container for my ericaceous loving magnolia. The soil here is clay, which means my hydrangeas will always be pink!

I'm still not registering on my scales, so I guess I have a way to go yet. Here's to week 12 being a repeat of week 10, with food and exercise choices that benefit both my body and my head :)

Tuesday 10 July 2012

Olympic torch fly by

Yeah, I have been re-inspired :) The Olympic Torch trundled past my house yesterday. I was out there waving my little home made Union Jack and enjoying being out on a street that is normally empty of people and full of cars being full of people and empty of cars. Fab.

Food diary-ing for the last 3 weeks. Getting a handle on my food intake again. Making better, and more conscious choices - again. I'm too heavy for my scales at the moment, so guess I will post a weight when I can get a reading! Lots of fruit, veg and good protein and little oil, butter, cheese & processed stuff.

Depression is a funny thing. The last few months have seemed endless, dark, dreary, dismal. A pit. The wet weather hasn't helped. The slugs have taken over my garden :( Not that I've really been out there much at all.

Today, the sun shone. I feel marginally happier. The sky is threatening grey again, but that memory of sunshine and heat is still in my head. Also helps that the curtains are OPEN. Got to laugh at my silliness. Small stuff is important when battling depression. My next goal is to beat the incipient agoraphobia. A visit to the library is long overdue. Maybe tomorrow.