Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Day 98 Five bananas, no more!

The FBP says I can eat up to 8 bananas. Frankly I don't understand how anyone can! I've managed to stuff down 5 today, but really, all I wanted to eat was soup. Soup is tasty!

Today's soup-making was curried cauliflower. Lovely and spicy, and with some spinach leaves wilted into it, totally gorgeous to look at, smell, and taste. And I had 170g of 0% Fage Total Greek Yoghurt. I am never buying supermarket brand Greek yoghurt again - there just is no comparison... My modifications to the banana/milk day was a tablespoon of honey (illegal carbs/hi GI, no doubt) but despite that & half a pint of semi-skimmed milk, total calories were 1327. Drank my 4 pints of water too - yay!

I've made a dent in the project. Decided to go with what people have seen and not throw a spanner into the works. There just isn't time to redo it in a new style. Early up tomorrow to email it out to everyone. Tired and sleepy now.

Tomorrow is steak & tomatoes day. Now that, I'm looking forward to! :D

Day 98 Frittering... and FBP day 4

I'm having one of those days - procrastinating & frittering, putting off, and 'doing other things' instead of what I am supposed to be doing...

Hmm. Needless to say (but am saying it! Doh - Queen of the Obvious :s) I have a looming deadline, and I know what I have to do, but... I -  cannot -  seem -  to - make - myself - do -  it !!!

It is a because I have had a sudden doubt that the direction I had been pursuing in this project is the right one. I've been happily bowling along this line, and with generous feedback of 'oh, how lovely it looks' etc, I have tamped down my gut feeling that perhaps there is too much styling going on, and I haven't paid enough attention to the usability of what I've been proposing.

Hence the fiddling, and putting off, and thinking about it but not actually doing anything just yet about it methodology. Days like this I wonder why I decided to become a designer...sometimes I wish for a solution that is either or, 1 or 0, binary choice, yes or no, cut and dried. I'm smiling wryly at myself at this mad thought - I know that would drive me barmy! My entire life is lived on fuzzyness.

Yesterday's calorie total was 773. Pretty amazing when I think I had a big plate of brussel sprouts, dwarf beans & mushrooms stirfried in a tsp of sunflower spread & 4 tsp of wholegrain & dijon mustard plus a baked potato with 10g of butter... and 2 bowls of soup. Guess I just wasn't very hungry. Wierd. I'm always hungry! But maybe what I used to think of as hunger was only 'see food, eat food' urgings?

Food today is most uninteresting. Maybe that is adding to the unsettledness of the day. Bananas & milk. Except I cannot 'drink' milk on its own anymore, so I've substituted fat-free greek yoghurt at 52 calories per 100g. Banana milkshake for breakfast with a dsp of honey. Had to force that down, when usually I love milkshake. The soup though has been yummy - I  made tomato & courgette soup, enhanced with 2 tsp of pesto & the usual complement of onion, celery & carrot for bulk & flavour, with a generous handful of spinach leaves to wilt in the heat before I eat it. A beautiful bowl. :)

Ugh - more bananas now. Usually I like bananas but these are just on the green side and not quite ripe, so they have that bitter aftertaste. Next week I'll buy them a day earlier so they'll be perfect eating on banana day. :) After all if bananas are all I'm getting, they might as well be the nicest yummiest ones I can have!

Hmm, think I'll have some more soup instead & the bananas later.

Monday, 29 November 2010

Day 97 Wise Words

I was just over at "Escape from Obesity", and Lyn was talking about making mistakes and fitting into our own moulds and not anyone else's definitions of who they think we ought to be. She also mentioned eating as addictive behaviour. And that definitely is something I do - witness these last few weeks of 'having to' do this, that or something that derailed my weight-loss journey. :) Anyway, all that reminded me of this great poem I came across last year, when I was truly in the slough of despond, and like some other inspirational writings I'll post later, this has a special place in my heart. It reminds me that I can change, that it is okay to fear change, to fall, to feel foolish, to pick myself up and get up again, to keep on doing some of the irrational things I do, because...one day it will be easy to do the right thing, the considered thing, the non-addictive thing. :) One day I will do all this without agonizing, overthinking, obsessing. One day, eating well is going to be just like my being a non-smoker, it just is.

Here's the poem.
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

~ Portia Nelson ~

(There's a Hole in My Sidewalk)

Day 97 FBP a fruit day, then a veg day...

According to my daily food spreadsheet, the total calories yesterday was 1052. And what I find quite amazing is that my appetite seems to be a little suppressed. Interesting. (heh - my body is an experimental ground!)

Dinner yesterday turned out to be a bowl of pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, slivered almonds, walnuts, dried cranberries, raisins, sultanas, chopped dried apricots, chopped banana and half a tablespoon of honey - 450 cals. The plan calls for a big platter of various fruit like pineapple, peaches, grapes which I didn't have so I substituted the calories for the dried foodstuffs I had. Strictly speaking nuts aren't on the plan, but they are technically 'fruit'! I believe it is important to be happy with what I am eating or else this plan isn't going to work. Got to say that is a combo I will try again because it was yummy, filling and kept me going until nearly 11pm, when I had to have another bowl of soup. I was supposed to have more fruit, but by that point I was totally fruited out - so am going to make pear & apple butter today and pot those last two pears for another day. It's a shame pears don't keep.

The unreliable scales told me this morning I am now 301 lbs... Hooray! It is good when results can be seen immediately. I am also feeling quite good for just eating veggies & fruit and drinking loads of water - I managed the full recommended 4 pints yesterday.

So far I am really happy with eating soup. It is perfect for this cold weather and is definitely helping with my carbohydrate comfort food cravings. :) The other thing about eating hot soup is that I HAVE to eat it slowly... heh. So my stomach full signals work better. Result!

This morning was a late start. Day 3 is a vegetable day. I think it is courgette & tomato soup on the menu today! Also have food shopping for the rest of the plan to do this afternoon, and getting draft 3 of the current work project underway. And I have to do a quick housecleaning whizz around. 1 Dec is round the corner, got to get that Christmas tree space ready, and find the decorations!

Sunday, 28 November 2010

Day 96 The Fat Burner Plan (modified)

Okay, I've managed Day 1 of this plan. Yay for me! I am SO proud of myself.

The first day incorporates a little fat and a little carbohydrate, so I guess that is why I'm feeling fine. Day 2 and 3 are much more challenging, being predominantly fruit, and predominantly veg. Am doing fine so far on Day 2, but have succumbed to having a little semi-skimmed milk in my tea and half a cup of peas in the soup. I don't have fresh stock so am using Knorr veg & chicken stock cubes. Must investigate the salt content of both, but am not putting extra salt in the soup.

So: Day 1
My first bowl of soup wasn't strictly fat-burner, because it was my left over barley & veg soup from earlier in the week. The second batch was almost fatburner. The almost being that I loathe the taste of boiled onions, so sautéd them in a teaspoon of olive oil before plonking in all the rest of the diced carrots, celery, celeriac & swede - approx 350g total veg weight. Not sure how much that tsp of fat will affect the results of this week. I am encouraged though that weighing myself this morning, Sunday, with clothes on, I was 304 lbs...

Food for Day 1
plum compote (4 plums) - the plan calls for melon & grapes but I didn't have any
roobios tea (no milk)

barley & veg soup
banana, pear, clementine, satsuma
rosehip tea

veg soup
baked potato, scooped out & mashed with 14g butter, salt & pepper & reheated til crisp
250g brussels sprouts
lime juice, red onion & tomato salsa

veg soup
banana, pear, clementine, satsuma
roobos tea (no milk)
water - 3 pints (doing well) - plan calls for at least 8 glasses of water, which I assume are 10 fl oz glasses or 4 pints.

The calories for Saturday come to approx 1300.
Interestingly after my baked potato & brussel sprout dinner, I did feel quite full, and every time I felt hungry throughout the day I had fruit, a bowl of soup, a glass of water or a cup of tea. When I had cravings for cheese, bread, peanut butter and thoughts about eating non FBP stuff, and found myself looking inside the fridge, I said to myself - what is more important? Eating now or feeling & looking good later? And it worked. Yay for my good decisions!

Day 2 is going okay so far, today is very much a fruity day!

Had a big bowl of soup for breakfast. Plan calls for mango & orange smoothie but I don't have either.
Then rosehip tea, a banana, satsuma & clementine, mid-morning.
I had a pint of water. Then a platter of sliced apple & pear for lunch.
mid-afternoon now, I've had another pint of water, and a bowl of soup, and two mugs of tea with semi-skimmed milk.
More fruit to go with my soup later. And a couple more pints of water.

Ice on the roads today. I popped out to post a letter - brrrrrr! I am definitely hoping Santa will get me some ear-muffs! Or else I'd better find my hats with flaps PDQ...

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Day 94-95 The Omnivore's Dilemma & Fat Burner Day 1/14

Completely forgot to post for Day 94. Eating yesterday has been healthyish but too many calories as usual.
I had 2 banana muffins & roobios tea with milk for breakfast.
Then barley & vegetable soup, 2 slices toast with sunflower spread for mid-morning.
Late lunch was the last of my Desiree potato haul from the garden, about 8 oz, boiled in their skins, chopped up and fried in 2 tbsp olive oil with lots of mushrooms & spinach, and topped with red cheddar.
Tea time, I had roobios tea with milk and 2 slices of wholemeal toast with sunflower spread, 2 tbsp wholenut peanut butter & 2 tbsp Bonne Maman strawberry jam.
Dinner was 75g of linguine pasta with my favourite sauce - 1 fresh chilli, 2 cloves of garlic ground up with 0.5 tsp coarse sea-salt, mixed with 1 tbsp olive oil, 2 finely chopped ripe red tomatoes, 10 big cooked prawns and a big handful of roughly chopped watercress. This time I made the conscious decision to only cook 75g instead of 100g of pasta - yay! And it was, surprisingly enough, totally enough. :) I felt full, but not stuffed. :D Result!
Water consumption was 1.75 pints.
And somewhere in that day I also ate a pear, an apple, a clementine and a satsuma.

The last two days I have been contemplating starting the Fat Burner Plan, so I suppose all this eating is storing up for the lean days ahead! Daft thinking! Well, I've eaten lots of my fave things over the last week, and at least now I can go forward with the thought that at the end of this 14 days I can eat them again - in moderation!

I'm absolutely fascinated with this book - The Omnivore's Dilemma, by Michael Pollan. I am learning things I never knew about the food industry in the USA and no doubt it also impacts here in the UK. Later no doubt, when I have finished the book, I will probably go to my cupboards and inspect every single processed foodstuff I have with a label for all those things that might originate from Zea Mays...otherwise known as maize.

Heh. That is such a great name, Zea Mays - perfect for a villain(ness) perhaps? Other things I have been thinking about is about writing. I haven't done any stories in a long time, I think that muscle needs exercising as much as the physical muscles! Came across some explanations & tales of the Hindu Gods, and they have some rather interesting stories too. One in particular reminds me of the story of Job from the Bible. Interesting this.

Actually ventured out into the garden this morning. In my PJs! Oh - crispy cold! Cat very sensibly stayed indoors. We had the tiniest sprinkling of snow during the night, and because I forgot to put away my hosepipe, it is now frozen solid and firmly clamped to the tap...

Going to head on out a bit later. The nice thing about crispy cold is that one soon warms up walking, and then there is the joy of entering a nice warm interior at the end. Might even be time to move all the chests in front of the fireplace and get that gas fire going again. Nothing quite like warm real flames in a fireplace to add to that cosy feel!

Today is my first day on the 14 day Fat Burner Plan. The next three days are veggie soup, fruit, veggies and water/herbal drinks. My weight last night - on the unreliable scales ;) was 305 lbs. It will be good to get that down to below 300 lbs for Christmas. Gosh, exactly one month...

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Day 93

Exactly 3 months since I started this blog.

I think writing these last few months has made me more aware of my eating habits, my emotional health and my exercise or non-exercising lifestyle. I can see the areas where I can improve, the areas where I am doing well.

Let's see what the next three months bring.

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Day 92 Creak creak...

I have sore muscles! So even that teeny little cycle had an effect yesterday.

Decided to go search out some Aquadulce Claudia broad bean seeds for my allotment. A friend gave me the tip that it overwinters well, and means next May, all being well, I'll have a nice crop of very early broad beans, early enough to miss the blackfly infestation. :) They're a bit of a fiddle to prepare, need popping out of their pods, and then after a brief steam or boil, shucking out of their outer jackets. Worth all the effort for the taste and look though, pretty green jewels on the plate.

Food today has been allright. Porridge with honey & milk, then a caffe latte (no sugar) midmorning, lentil soup & toast with cheese for late lunch, and mushrooms & watercress in a creamy cheesy sauce with wholewheat spaghetti for dinner. For snacks I've had a satsuma and a clementine, a nice Royal Gala apple, a banana muffin and some hot tea.

I'm pleased that I said no to offers of biscuits and cake at the meeting. My calorie count could easily have become much higher! As it is it is 2404 calories. If I had held on the cheese at lunch and cut out the butter & muffin, it would have been just over 1600. Hmmm - food for thought! Yesterday's total was less than 1800, which what I want to be aiming at now. Thing is because it is cold I am craving warm stodgy carbohydrate filled meals... Anyway, I bought some pearl barley this week, and am going to try out some big hearty vegetable filled soups, and see if they fix that craving and keep my calories down!

It is freeeeeeezing! I have two pairs of socks on so I don't get chillblains this year. I got them for the first time ever last year -ouchy itchy nasty. Another note to Santa - some big woolly socks please!

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Day 91 Back on the Bike!

Yay! Maiden cycle ride this lunchtime - a little tootle around Florence Park and along some nice quiet roads for about 15 minutes. I was a tad wobbly at first, and had lowered the seat because I wasn't sure of my dexterity and balance any more. No pictures because I was concentrating so hard on everything my body was telling me - especially my left knee and my calf muscles which were moaning, ouch ouch ouch! Silly things, I told them, it is only because you've been so inactive. Shush and enjoy the ride.

So, I am feeling very happy with myself.

And so very pleased with my lovely bike, spinning all 300 lbs of me around all that lumpy tarmac! Heh - the sooner I find my gel-tech saddle cover the better, then I can do longer rides :)

Have been food shopping too, and got loads of fruit and veg. Not been paid yet, so the Xmas shopping will have to wait for next week. I have been entertaining the thought of making some chilli jam this year. That's a nice kind of foodie prezzie, not vastly fattening, nor will I be tempted to eat it all before giving it away, PLUS I know all the people who I give presents to will like it. :) Heh. Now that's going to be a fun project! Have to find a good recipe first.

Foodwise, it has been a pretty good day. I haven't felt very hungry today for some reason. Exercise? Being out and about? Anyway, woke up late - 9 ish, then went out for the bike ride, went shopping, and finally ate all the leftovers in the fridge for late lunch. Which was my home made chickpea & roasted aubergine dip with two slices of wholegrain toast (totally yummy & calorie counted), the beetroot with some white wine vinegar as salad, plus an apple, a tangerine and a clementine. My fruitbowl is also brimming with pears, apples and bananas. And I have plums in the fridge to stew and have with yoghurt & honey sometime this week. Had lentil soup for dinner & now I'm having the last two chocolate rice krispie squares (from last week's baking) & a banana muffin from the freezer. And the interesting thing is I feel absolutely fine about all this. I'm not ridden with guilt. And that's a good feeling :) Maybe it is because my fridge is stuffed with VEGETABLES... ;) and I'm going to be having a vegetablicious week ahead...hehehe

It was so lovely reading about Shelley's (My Journey to Fit) Half Marathon triumph today. She is SO inspiring. And everytime I read another blogger's journey, their trials, their triumphs, their naff days, their great days, the NSVs, I think - yes, I can do this too. Maybe my path will be different, maybe it might take me a loooooong time, but I'll get there in the end. One day, that will be me, cycling my 30 miles, and grinning from ear to ear ;)

Right now I'm just so happy I got my tush back on my bike, and didn't fall off or break the bike. Yay! Note to self - next time wear thermals & the neoprene gloves - temps are plummeting this week, brrrrr. Although I was crispy cold to start with, and my hands did feel like ice when I got back, the rest of me was nice and toasty warm. Oh yes, and drop a hint to my sister that I'd really really like santa to give me some hand-knitted ear muffs... ;)

Monday, 22 November 2010

Day 90

Gosh ninety days of blogging. Perhaps I am learning to be consistent at something ;) !!

Must go shopping, have no veggies left in the house except a couple of pre-cooked beetroot. I made the mistake of looking at BBC iPlayer this morning, for research purposes, and ended up watching all the episodes of Nigel Slater's Simple Suppers...

Sigh. I am a terrible, dyed in the wool, foodie. Even now I am plotting how to make some fo those suppers, hmm, maybe make them a teensy bit more calorie friendly.

On other hand, I am not binging, I am gainfully occupied most of the day now, and have the prospect of getting out and about tomorrow on my bike. That's the plan, stan ;)

Ol' Miz Pokey was quite feisty today. We had lots of ribbon playing sessions, and in one of them she got so caught up in the excitement, she fell off the chair! Bless her, she is a constant source of laughter.

Here's a picture of her appropriating my chair when I'd nipped off to make a cup of tea.


Sunday, 21 November 2010

Day 89 Walk

I visited a friend and her two year old sprog today. Little one was a bit more vociferous today! Which was really cool because last time she was totally mute the whole time I was there! Children are funny :)

We went on a little walk along the towpath to my favourite pub. I was amazed at how busy it was, but then J explained that it was because of the scarcity of opening hours at this particular place...it is a curious thing how behavior works. Kind of like expensive cars in short supply become ultra desirable ;) Hehe - we were there for the splendid cake. J, her daughter & I shared a piece of yummy summer fruit crumble topped deliciousness. Sprog was very fascinated by the dogs we encountered, a little sausage dog with the softest looking ears, and a huge black & white greyhound spread out like a rug!

I mentioned the May Round Table 5K Fun Run to J - she used to be a keen runner before becoming a mama, said next week she & her regular running partner were going to try and get going again on this. Hope this goes well, and maybe next May she'll be running in the 5K and I'll be walking it at least!

I made more bread this morning - woke up at 4 am and couldn't go back to sleep & just had to be doing something unrelated to computers, reading or TV...I think the rest of the loaf might be donated to the birds. Either I rig up a bird feeding station in the garden or walk over to Iffley Lock and feed the ducks, geese and cygnets. Mama & papa swan weren't around - probably canoodling somewhere else! There were also some other birds there this afternoon - I've not seen them before.

I've also semi cleared the pit masquerading as my understairs cupboard...in the first cull I found a billion plastic bags :o who knows what my brain thought I needed all those for! I also unearthed a drill, a CD player, a bike rack for the car, my niece's old baby seat (!), three tarpaulins...:D I obviously NEED a house with an attached garage I can fill with my junk...!

But best of all is my lovely bike. She's been brushed off and pumped up. I've found most of my bike accoutrements, except the most important - my comfy gel saddle, the bike oil for the chain, my reflectors and my lights. So it is back to the digging around for those tomorrow, but if weather is good, will take bike for a spin round the local park. Am sure the harder seat will be okay for a couple of miles, I'm not planning a trip out to Radley or Kennington just yet.

Weather forecast is crispier temperatures for this week, so the thermals & winter hats, gloves & socks will be required too. I used to really love cycling, this will be my first ride in almost 18 months. Fun times ahead!

Saturday, 20 November 2010

Day 88 List three good things...

Write 3 good things about today.

Okay. First one. I decided to check out one of the potato barrels I grew in the garden this summer. :D Out of all that dark sludgy earth popped out nearly a kilo of Desiree potatoes!

Heh. Result!
So today's dinner featured mashed potato. The ones with a little scab on them had to be peeled. Tomorrow I'll have lovely boiled potatoes in their red skins - yum yum! I even have potatoes the size of grapes... It is so cool, when I get to harvest something I've planted.

Second good thing. I've unshackled the bike from its outside prison and she's indoors now. Tomorrow I'll find the pump. The tyres look like they're still in good nick. Just got to find all my bike paraphernalia now - lights, reflectors, helmet, panniers, comfy gel saddle... My beautiful Dawes Hybrid is over 15 years old, and is only exhibiting a little rusting along the handlebars. Guess that can be taken care off with some sandpaper and an enamel paint touch up. I really hope she's up to hoisting my 300 lbs around. :) But it is so brilliant. She's now accessible, and tomorrow is going to be all shiny and clean and ready for a ride.

Third good thing. I spent the day listening to the radio again. Music makes me feel happy. So, that's a good habit to keep up. And sometimes, when the song is really good, I am inspired to do a little dancing...heh. Cat always has this pitying look at me as though I am some kind of flailing dervish when I do ;)

I've also read more inspirational weight-loss blogs, and tracked my food, and mostly made healthy choices today. Mood today is much more upbeat, and my stomach is definitely feeling better than yesterday! Yay!

Friday, 19 November 2010

Day 87 A Beautiful Smile

The return to my previous eating habits over the last few days has resulted in a familiar unpleasant lethargy and indigestion. Which has reminded me forcibly, that eating well, and eating healthily has other objectives than losing weight.

It is about feeling good every day. It is about having energy to do things. It is about knowing that any discomfort felt is only temporary, and that the results are well worth it in the end.

I am reminded here, of when I was 17, and my dad convinced me to have braces to correct my teeth. The first week, I cried so much. I felt ugly. It hurt. I knew that no boy would ever want to kiss me. I was so down in the dumps about it I wanted to have them taken off.

But, while I was wrangling and moaning and fussing about all this, my dad said to me: think of it as scaffolding on a building. It looks ugly, but it is providing a support for the workers to build a wonderful new building, or refresh an old one. When it is taken off, you will love the smile you will have.


Thanks Dad!

I am also reminded that this body I have, is the only one I WILL ever have, so better I take care of it now, so it will help me have the kind of life I want. Full of energy, vitality, and enjoyment.

Tomorrow I'm back on the veggies and healthy eating.

Thursday, 18 November 2010

Day 86 Counting my blessings

I'm having a little trouble in this journey, this plan to reshape my edible universe, so for now I'm going to put that to one side and look at all the good things that are going on in my life right now.

Live in the moment. That is what all those 'self-help' and 'motivational' books tell me. So. In this moment, I am feeling good. I live in a nice little home of my own. I have central heating! Yay! (Thanks to my lovely ex - handy man extraordinaire!) so my house is warm. I have a lovely companion, who has been with me through thick and thin for 15 years...

I have a career in a field I am good at, and people respect me for my skills :) I have a hobby, gardening, that I enjoy, even if I'm not that good at it... ;) I have a lovely family, who care about me, even though we all live far away from each other. And I have some good friends who are there when it is important, even if their lives are busy doing other things now.

So, thank you for this good life. I am SO lucky to be who I am.

I aim to make it an even better life by looking after my health better, so I can enjoy doing all those things I enjoy doing now, even more! And to do things I've dreamt about doing and never thought I'd ever in a million years do.

Here are some aspirational pictures - kind of like a vision board. I'm going to come back to this in a few months and see if I have done any of them... :)

Sailing dinghies... at Farmoor; more visits (and walking!) around National Trust properties; more visits to places of historical interest, either walking around, or cycling around. And maybe golf and tennis next spring.

WHITE HORSE (copyright BBC)
BIKING IN SKYE (copyright website)
 Hmm, that might be fun, going for a summer holiday cycling around Scotland...

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Day 85 Feline Dreams

I've been reading a little book by Deric Longden, called "Paws in the Proceedings". About a man, and his life, and cats. Heh. Full of funny observations of rural life interspersed with accounts of cat behaviour of all persuasions. :)

Busy busy day today. And I was very cold. And run out of milk, so was drinking tea without it - surprisingly palatable, roobios tea sans leche. I might try that again.

Not tracked today. But I will have a think and write down what I remember eating for my records. Major busy-ness in store again tomorrow, plus a meeting to prepare for in the afternoon. Gulp. I'm not usually quite so corporate, but needs must, so I'm wandering in. :D

Now to go to sleep and dream up some sooper-dooper fantabulous design that will knock their socks off...

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Day 84 Royal shindigs for next year

Wow. The papers will be full of it tomorrow, every newscast today, radio & TV were full of it too. That little village that Kate Middleton hails from will be besieged by tourists now ;) heh. I thought it was a really lovely announcement to hear that Prince William had finally popped the question to his Kate. :)

I couldn't help noticing how lean and fit she was, and yes, aspirational! Not that the prince is my idea of a bit of all right, but I would like some of her obvious energy and vitality.

On another note, I also watched a programme on the telly today about people who have to live with severe facial disfigurement, and all I can say and think is that they are incredibly amazing. One young lady said, 'well, I have to live my life now, and I want to make the best of it.' I have a prominent birthmark on my right cheek that I live with day in and day out, and I do think that in some ways I have let it subconsciously dictate my actions, and perhaps part of the reason I am fat is because I can blame my isolation from society to that instead of something I am unable to change. I dunno, it is a thought. Funny, I don't normally think about it, but yes, it does bother me when I do, but mostly I never cover it up - laziness about make-up mostly - plus I have never found a foundation that works without making my brown skin look clay-ey... Well, the upshot of this spiel of garrulosity is that if severely disfigured and severely physically handicapped people can go out and be in the world and be fit, active and energetic - well, there is no reason why I can't too. All it takes is one tiny step. And to keep building on that.

Today was freezing fog every where. But I did go out of the house - not for a 20 minute walk, but 5 minutes up to the post box and back. I count that a victory, as it was really COLD! Tomorrow I'll do a 10 minute walk.  And the day after a 15 minute walk. And Friday a 20 minute walk - or even, as I am visiting a friend and her little daughter - we might go to my favourite riverside pub for a cuppa and a cake - the Isis Farmhouse.

Tomorrow is a busy day - I have stage 2 of my presentation of my project to complete and send out to the team for feedback. Have to get the brain in gear again.

Food tracking today: excellent. Actual food consumption, hmm, could be better, D minus! Calories today 3307, on account of me unaccountably needing to bake bread for some unfathomable reason...and eating most of the loaf...guhhh. Next time I have to do this, I will cut up the bread as soon as I've had one serving from it and stuff it in the freezer. That seems to work best.

Monday, 15 November 2010

Day 83 positive progress from last year

Tracked my calories today, yay! Indulged in a banana muffin, and a pitta with some home-made aubergine and chickpea dip, so calories came in at 2305.

Good things about food intake today: I had porridge! It must be winter! heh. Had it with some golden syrup and cinnamon, and a little dash of milk - it was yummy. Otherwise, my food choices were good - low fat in general, and all of it quantified, and best of all, I was eating consciously instead of merely stuffing my face. So perhaps this season of megrims is abating? I hope so.

Lets see what tomorrow brings.

Found some writings I'd done late 2009, affirmations and positive choice statements - and amazingly quite a few of them I now feel like I've made some headway on. Stuff like being more self-focused in a positive way, doing more things for myself healthwise, paying attention to various other areas of my life - and yep, decluttering...! Being much more emotionally stable. Heh. So that gives me hope. Hope that maybe this time next year I'm going to be looking back at this post and saying, gosh, I've come a long way forward from that point too.

I've had this tearout from a magazine on my desk for a few days - it is an article on walk to fit in 30 days. Something I could do. I just have to psych myself into my trainers and out of the house. :) 20 minutes a day isn't much to give myself a new life. Baby steps again.

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Day 82 Restful Sunday

Spent most of today nose in a whodunnit novel. Have tracked food, but eaten just what I wanted instead of putting restrictions on everything. So have had scrambled eggs, bacon, cereal, bagels, spaghetti with mushroom/tomato sauce made with butter & olive oil, cheese, apple crumble with crème fraîche...normal sort of carb/fat/protein consumption day for me. And it has done me the world of good mentally - I feel a lot less anxious, and much more relaxed today. And I found I wasn't constantly thinking about what to eat next :) So...

I'm considering trying out the Fat Burner Plan which involves lots of low cal vegetable soup as the filler, and specific days of specific foods for two weeks. It is very much in the 'keep it simple' principle and this plan shed off the pounds pretty fast for me when I tried it before, and maybe I need that boost to pull me out of my megrims :) Tomorrow is the start of a busy (and welcome) week, so that decision is to be decided.

I've also to decide on whether to plan my Christmas shopping and cards this week, as I know I'm going to be ultra busy the next few weeks with the new project with all sorts of deadlines looming around the last week of Dec. So that will be something pleasurable to think about and put into effect. :)

heh - I can hear my cat snoring. Obviously its snooze time for me too!

Saturday, 13 November 2010

Day 81 A Morning Thought

I woke up this morning thinking that the reason I am sabotaging my weight-loss efforts is because I am afraid. I am afraid of who I am underneath this familiar persona of the fat woman. I am afraid to relinquish the security of my fat. And also, I am afraid of change.

I ate a lot of bread products yesterday again. And although I did do some walking it was mostly up and down in the house wearing my MBTs to give my leg muscles a little bit of an extra workout. No swim, no outside walk. When I am feeling down I get a little agoraphobic & sleep a lot.

Another thing I thought about was that perhaps I am subconsciously punishing myself for dreaming of being 'more' - the euphoria of peer approval on Wednesday, translated to deep dark pessimism on Thursday & Friday. Time to have another look at my head, and perhaps not worry so much about the food. Just keep trying to eat healthily, and well.

Other things that may be making my head unsettled - I am tidying up the various piles of clutter that exist in the house, and with each cleared surface, and each emptied and re-sorted box, the chaos surrounding me is lifting. And perhaps my mind doesn't want to see the cleared areas, it would rather hide in the muddled safe & familiar chaos. Having written all this I can see lots of points I can do some EFT on which may help me, and perhaps get me back into the mindset of getting on with my plan for change, instead of subtly sabotaging it at every turn.

Here's another thought for me to ponder on:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world... " 
(Marianne Williamson - A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles")

Friday, 12 November 2010

Day 80 Night Terrors

It is amazing how quickly a mind's emotional balance can shift. By midnight last night I had created this huge monster of emotional neediness in my head, with all the attendant negative worst case scenarios I could think of to embellish it, further exacerbating my depressive state. I held out for a short while, then succumbed again to the lure of carbohydrates - my drug of choice - bread products. Luckily there was still a little smidge of sane thought left in my head, so every midnight bite was weighed, quantified, and measured. :) I am laughing now at my anxious last night self - obviously I have at least ingrained a new habit into my life! The extra calories were 1242.

I just had a thought about this - maybe it is hormonally related? Checking back to Day 51 (approx 30 days ago) I find that that was a post entitled The Fall - and I've said:
"Sometimes I wonder if have have manic depression. Some days I'm so gung ho, and everything GOES so well, and then there are days like today when all I can do is crawl into the cave and hide.

Along with the contents of my fridge, my larder, my freezer..."

Now I don't feel so bad about last night, and today is a new day. I'm going to plan my eating now for the rest of the day, and incorporate my new week's challenge - every day 20 minutes walking, 32 laps swimming, and 1800 calorie bank.

I know I am not good at absolutist thinking, and the wriggler in me that always says - what about having choices? and I hate rules! and you're not the boss of me! That stompy teenager that has never grown up is shouting in my head now. Got to sit down and tell her that I love her, and that my allowing her to make choices for me has gotten me into this state - 300lbs and unfit. And now I have to be adult me, and take responsibility, and make adult choices. And to tell her, I still love her, and when we are further along on this journey and seeing real results she will be SO pleased! :)

Right - off to get ready for this new day. Last night is history, and the past. Time to move on.

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Day 79 Remembrance Day

2 minute silence on the radio at 11 am this morning. It has been a cold, very blustery day.

Calories today: 2047. It has been a struggle keeping to that amount even. I have had a banana muffin and an extra bowl of savory rice today, and lots of mugs of tea as well as 3 decent meals. I have kept saying to myself, a minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips...and also, as a friend has kindly said she will come with me to a gig in a month's time, I want to be fit enough to enjoy the trip. So this means, getting my daily walk in, and keeping up with the swimming. And keeping the intake of food down.

So I'm setting myself a mini-goal - 20 minutes walking, 32 laps swimming, and 1800 calories every day for a week. And after this week, another week, and another... :)

I've put this - "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." George Bernard Shaw - in a prominent place, so I can see it every day to encourage myself.

Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Day 78 Professional Pride

For the first time in a while I'm feeling professional pride :) it is a great feeling, and I hope it continues!

Now, if only I could feel the same pride in my weight-loss and exercise efforts that would be good too. All my baked goodies and chocolate scoffing has caught up with me. A sneaky look at my unreliable scales says I'm up a few pounds :( So action has to be taken!

I read on Doc's 'Dr Fatty Finds Fitness' that for her, exercise and diet done together works, whereas just doing one or the other is less successful. So for the sake of my self-pride (and the enticement of getting back into my wardrobe of clothes!) I'm going to keep trying, and keep doing. Getting peer validation in one area of my life should help me with others.

Calories today: a respectable 1879. I've had a kitkat chocolate bar and a banana muffin, and 3 decent meals. Plenty enough. Now to drink lots of water and go to bed, and program myself to be that fit energetic healthy person that is just busting to get out of this fat-suit!

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Day 77 A Long Day

Late posting today, it is half past one in the morning, and I'm winding down before trying to sleep. Have spent the whole day & evening working - I do this when I'm on a creative run :) and my brain is still buzzing! But now it is time for some shut eye and recharge the batteries!

I've kept a tally of the day's eats: calories 2268, much less than I thought it would be - prawns really are a superfood - big on taste, low in cals. Today I substituted cheese spread for vintage cheddar, and said "no thank you" to the muffin tin whenever I passed it after having one early in the day.

Big day tomorrow - I hope the work I did will provoke plenty of discussion, and the project will get off to a good start with everyone's input. Not going to post list of foods any more, unless there is something striking about it.

Nite everyone, have a good day tomorrow!

Monday, 8 November 2010

Day 76 instead of eating...

I've been psyching myself up all day. Re-iterating the phrase, 'Act as if.' Tomorrow I want to shine, to create some great stuff, so I'm doing that programming myself thing, visualizing myself being the person I want to be. I do hope my subconscious is listening and watching!

Food today: Calories 2431. And yes, I do know what hiked it up - crackers with cheese & a banana muffin. On the other hand - the crackers were eaten without butter, I only had one ounce of cheese, and the muffin was a lone one :) And yay for me for resisting having a late night snack of something or other, and brushing my teeth immediately instead!

Other things I did instead of eating today - hopped into a really nice warm bath and fed my sense of smell with some deliciously fruity cherry bath jelly (a present from my sister bought from Lush). Now that was a great achievement - I have been avoiding having baths for so long because one, I was afraid I wouldn't fit into it any more, and two, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get myself out of it! My fears were groundless, and I now foresee many happy bath hours ahead :) Cat was a very interested observer!

My sniffle seems to have abated, I'm going to sleep now and hope my immune system has conquered the dastardly virus. No swim today after all, thought it better to fend off the cold.

Breakfast: wholemeal pitta with 3 scrambled eggs made with butter, oil & milk, roobios tea
Lunch: 2 slices wholemeal toast, butter, Laughing Cow Light cheese spread, 2 bowls homemade chicken soup (thank you R!), an apple, a banana, roobios tea
Afternoon: rosehip tea, chicken bovril drink
Dinner: sliced pork loin chop with carrots & peas in madeira sauce, cabbage, mashed potatoes
Supper: 5 Jacobs crackers, 1 oz cheddar, 1 banana muffin

Sunday, 7 November 2010

Day 75 Wierd dreams and cheese

Woke late today, nearly midday. I guess I needed my sleep! In mitigation for the long lie-in, I was up for a few hours in the middle of the night, surfing the web because I couldn't sleep. Ended up reading posts from The World according to Eggface, which rather influenced my dreaming later that night...

I wonder how many people do this, read a book, or a magazine or something, or watch a film of something that is out of their normal scope of activity, belief etc, and find themselves in some bizarre dreamscape peopled with all those events/persons/circumstances...?? I have a few dreams that I remember particularly, even now, years and years later, which puzzle me greatly, of the HOW my brain came up with such ideas & the dream storylines. Peculiar alchemy? Hmm. Cheese is a foodstuff that is supposed to be one instigator of extraordinary dream thoughts. There was cheese in my lasagna! ;)

Okay, daft thoughts aside, today has been a rather good day for me. I feel good, and having R around has been lovely. He kindly did the washing up this morning whilst waiting for me to surface from the land of Nod. He's the kind of person who likes to be busy, and I suppose his sense of order is rather challenged by my generally chaotic lifestyle!

Later on, he put together my weights bench which has been languishing in its box for nearly two years - so my attic is now the designated exercise space! As an extra, he also said, getting up there is also a little bit of a exercise in itself! Cat also has her workout platform, so I will be putting that upstairs as well, so when I'm finished heaving my dumbells, I can exercise her reflexes with her mouse on a string! Plus it is a handy spot for her to sit and watch.

Food today hmm. I was doing so well, until 9pm, when I had the total desire to eat a hot pudding. I tried out a microwave chocolate one, and although it was good, I think it was too much. I now feel a bit queasy, and have nixed that recipe off my list. Have to find some warm pud ideas that will let me keep to my dietary goals. This might be where I get some weightwatchers puds to keep in the freezer for such occasions. Calories 2714.

Breakfast: 1 cup sugar puffs, half cup semi-skimmed milk, roobios tea
Lunch: panfried chicken, new potatoes (the allotment haul!), broccoli, carrots, peas, gravy, roobios tea, scone with jam & cream
Tea: tea with milk, 2 slices walnut cake, a banana
Dinner: pan fried pork loin chop, vegetable gratin, cabbage, roobios tea
Snack: microwave chocolate pudding, cream

I seem to have developed a sniffle, here's hoping it is only a small blast of germification, and tomorrow I'm fine. Got my swim schedule to get started on - 232 laps for the week!

Saturday, 6 November 2010

Day 74 Fireworks Night

Plenty of 'ooh' and 'ahh' from the crowd tonight, as we all stood around in the chilly night air watching the skies explode above us. And the wicker man and the bonfire pile both caught fire and blazed away, the heat fierce enough to reach us, standing at the barrier some 50m away.

I love fireworks. They're such glorious, ephemeral happenings. R said that the aftermath of the smoke trails were just as amazing, especially when those 'ghost fireworks' were lit up by the next ones. We had a nice time, and maybe next time we go see something like that I will have the energy to traipse around the fairground and maybe even run around waving sparklers!

Today, I went swimming and did 32 laps. Then we went to the allotment, and dug up what potatoes were left after the blight decimated the crop. R said digging them up, he knew how the Irish potato farmers must have felt like...a very disheartening experience. But we have a few spuds, enough for lunch tomorrow.

Food today: 3080 calories on account of the two helpings of apple pie with custard, and the last of the home-baked goodies. Good thing I only bake pie once in a blue moon!

Breakfast: 1 cup sugar puffs, half cup skim milk, roobios tea
Lunch: 1 slice toast, 2 scrambled eggs made with butter, oil & milk, 2 rashers bacon, roobios tea, 2 chocolate rice krispie squares
Tea: 2 wholemeal pitta bread, aubergine & chickpea dip, roobios tea, 2 chocolate rice krispie squares
Dinner: lasagna & salad
Supper: 2 x apple pie & custard

Although I am still overeating in terms of recommended RDA, I have increased my mobility in my daily life, and I am eating far far less than I used to. Even though I struggled a little, walking in South Park up the gentle incline to the fireworks, I am so pleased I made it all the way to the top! We had a good spot right near the barriers. And then I walked all the way back to the car, parked in Cowley Road - without feeling too puffed out. When I contrast this scenario with a similar walk back in mid July, I am so cheered by the difference I can see in my ability to get around. All my baby steps are now getting me to that different place, and the view from my new standpoint is encouraging indeed.

Day 73 Diwali

I didn't realise that 5 November was Diwali, or I would have put out some little glass jars with tealights in them out on the windowsills. It was raining pretty heavily last night, and since R is staying with me this weekend, we were cosily ensconced on the sofa, having a chat and drinking wine. A rather good Lussac St Emilion 2007 Bordeaux. I'd gotten R some chocolate that he used to like but couldn't find any more - Cadbury Bournville's Old Jamaica - which is dark chocolate with rum and raisins, and that tasted really nice with the rich smoothness of the wine. Not that I drank or ate a lot of either - just enough to feel indulgent, and happy, and best of all - no hangover this morning!

Yay - and my calories for the day are 1619. I attribute this solely to the fact I have been busy, out of the house, and entertaining my friend, so I didn't sit around thinking about what to eat...!

I made lasagna for dinner, a low fat version with less olive oil and low-cal cheese sauce, we had that with salad. It tasted great and I was really pleased because 1/6 portion of it comes to around 450 cals, which is a good dinner, but not ridiculous like eating pizza for 900 cals. And we have leftovers, which R is very happy about, as he can have more for lunch today!

Today, Saturday we have plans for swimming, helping out at the allotment, and watching fireworks this evening.

Food today:
Breakfast - 1 cup sugar puffs with half cup skim milk, roobios tea
mid-morning - coffee with milk
Lunch - 2 wholemeal pitta bread with aubergine/chickpea dip, tomatoes, roobios tea
Dinner - homemade lasagna, salad, 2 and a half glasses red wine, 4 chunks Old Jamaica chocolate. A couple of glasses of water before bed.

A good day, hooray!

Thursday, 4 November 2010

Day 72 The lowdown

Food stats for today: calories 2976. Have been snacking too much on home made goodies. On the other hand, have been doing a lot of moving stuff around the house today, and lots of tidying and getting rid of clutter. :) So spiritually, I feel lighter ;) It is a great feeling emptying out all those neglected corners filled with things I own and have forgotten about. And tomorrow I'm going through piles of papers, and getting my filing sorted - I have a feeling the round filing cabinet will be extensively employed...

Breakfast: sugar puffs, milk and tea
Mid morning: 1 cup broccoli, spinach, lentil & leek soup
Lunch: vegetable gratin, 3 bacon rashers, 1 cup cabbage, tea, scone with jam & creme fraiche
Mid afternoon snack: tea, 2 chocolate rice krispie cakes
Evening: 4 scones with butter, mincemeat, 2 chocolate rice krispie cakes, tea
Dinner: 2 bowls savory rice, tea

Day 72 Everyday Anew

It is the only way to keep on going. Stumble, pick up self, walk forward.

Yesterday, after foolishly having a bottle of London Pride, I had a couple of bagels, then I also ate lots more chocolate rice krispie cakes, and then decided to make scones...yes, they were very pretty heart shaped ones, and absolutely delicious with some butter. Counting the cost today in calorie terms though, that evening's dissipation came to 1890 extra calories.

The sad thing is that this was typical behaviour and eating patterns of mine. None of it was particularly bad, but cumulatively repeating behaviour like this day after day means I always managed to either maintain my high weight, or I put weight on. And to recollect that before August this year, I would routinely cook with lots of butter, lots of oil, whole fat cream, creme fraiche, unmeasured amounts of cheese...eeek!

Right now, I am making a vegetable gratin - a dish full of potatoes, sweet potatoes, leeks, peas and carrots in a blanket of low fat cheese sauce made with cornflour, skimmed milk, cream cheese and parmesan. Formerly that sauce would have been made with butter & flour, cream, and lots of cheddar...

I like to eat. So I guess the only way for me to eat anything like the amount or kinds of foods I like means I WILL have to become a much more active person, and learn to eat the foods I like in moderate amounts. So that means moving more and being more aware of how much food is in calorific terms. Less time sitting in front of the computer. More time walking about, doing things, cycling places instead of driving, walking as a habit, more swimming!

Not rocket science, nope. I'm not going to be blasting off in a huge expenditure of energy off to the moon of my ultimate aims, nope. What I am going to be doing is making small changes, every day, like I have been doing since August. And next August I will look back and see a whole different kind of life than the one I currently lead - a much healthier, much more active, and as a consequence of all that, a much happier life.

Because, from where I am standing now - 72 days down the line, I can see already that I have made changes for the better. Baby steps instead of seven league boot steps. All those baby steps though have gotten me 8 lbs lighter so far, and who knows, maybe by the middle of this month, I may be lighter still. I certainly feel lots healthier!

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Day 71 Sticking to simple menus is less mind-boggling

Just the stats today - Food calories 2251, I'm not counting Syns today because I tried out a new recipe - lentil & rice pancakes (dosas) and they were a mite stodgy & oil-laden! I'm going to give up on trying to recreate the paper-thin dosas I remember from living in Malaysia. They're just going to have to remain a treat when I go back to visit.

It is MUCH easier counting calories & syns when I'm eating european style food! I think from now on I'm going to stick to simple.

Breakfast - sugar puffs with milk, roobios tea
Lunch - pitta stuffed with sardines in olive oil (omega3 rich!), then the pancake experiment (tasted okay, but not good enough for me to try again)
Dinner - sliced pork loin chop with carrots & courgettes in madeira sauce, mashed potato, cabbage, applesauce
Snacks - roobios tea, 4 chocolate rice krispie squares (all calorie counted AND the remainder stashed away from casual perusal...!)

Have done lots of work today, so am going to have a well-earned chill-out watching TV, or read my new who-dunnit novel - A Maisie Dobbs Mystery...An Incomplete Revenge.

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Day 70 TV evening, and wierd facts rule

I love semi-factual TV programmes, eg Ray Mear's Bush Craft, and faux quiz shows like QI - fronted by Stephen Fry, that wonderful elegantly urbane actor & presenter. Right now they are going through wierd facts about hallucinogenic drugs throughout history. Fascinating - for example, Hitler apparently said tobacco was the Red Man's vengeance on the White Man for introducing liquor...obviously shows like this are full of great "facts" to regale one's friends with when down the pub! heh.

I'm in an excellent mood. There's the possibility of an interesting new project in the pipeline, and food today has been plentiful, yet not overly calorific. :) Big plus day! Calories 1748, Green Day Syns 33.5. No swim today, but I'm okay with that - am just so happy I'm back on top of the food mountain.

Key today was eating soup - I'm going to be making more soups this autumn & winter, especially filling ones with beans & pulses, as they seem to quieten that 'feed me' voice in my head...

Breakfast - sugar puffs with milk, roobios tea
mid morning - bowl of broccoli, lentil & spinach soup, pitta bread & aubergine-chickpea dip
late lunch - turkey, carrots & courgettes in madeira sauce, mashed potato, brussel sprouts
supper - bowl of broccoli, lentil & spinach soup, pitta bread & aubergine-chickpea dip, roobios tea

Water intake is flagging, have only had a glass & a half today. More liquids!

Day 69 Gulp.

That emotional see-saw struck again. I started out the day SO well, making myself some gloriously green veggie brimming soup to eat for lunch. But then as the day progressed by about 3pm I was thoroughly depressed, miserable, and despite holding out for a long time (several hours) I finally gave in to profligate eating, and making, and consuming of lots of chocolate, nuts and bread products.

Day's total stands at 4701 calories, I haven't bothered with the Syns.

I also didn't go swimming at lunchtime, nor in the evening, by which time I was comatose on the sofa, sleeping off my late afternoon gorge.

Good things here. I did think quite seriously about getting drunk to forget. I didn't, thank goodness - a sore head this morning on top of a tender stomach - hmm not the most joyous of starts. Other good things - my chest muscles are a tad sore, as are my leg muscles - that's a GOOD sign, that I have been working them, and that the fibres have been busy realigning themselves into proper muscle! I slept plenty. And I've posted about this. I did consider missing out a day. However detailing my struggles is as important as detailing my successes. I can only hope as my journey goes forward, these kinds of days will become less and less, and the successful days will number more and more. :)

Food list for today:
Breakfast - 1 cup Sainsbury's hooplas cereal with milk & 1 mug tea
Snack - I cup broccolli, lentil, spinach, leek soup
Lunch - big spinach salad, 1 pitta & half tub taramasalata, rosehip tea
mid-afternoon snack - bowl of peanuts, pecans, walnuts, dried fruit, pumpkin & sunflower seeds, and an apple
dinner - 2 quorn sausages, half tin of baked beans with sausages, 2 eggs fried in 1 tsp olive oil, half baked potato
Evening eating - 4 pittas & whole tub of hummos, a whole pan of chocolate rice krispie cake, 2 mugs roobios tea

Okay. Misdeeds accounted for. Today I can only do better. :)