Thursday, 30 December 2010

Day 128 It is only a thought and a thought can be changed

I drew up another plan for myself. This time I'm basing it on eating mostly proteins and veggies/fruit with a little complex carbohydrates & fats now and then. And it is being split up into 6 small meals throughout the day.

I want to lose weight. But I am also sabotaging myself. I also want to succeed at my job. But again here, I am sabotaging myself. It is as if there is a thought somewhere buried in my head that I don't deserve to be fit & healthy, and I don't deserve to be successful. So perhaps going back to making affirmations that I do & some EFT regularly will help.

This last two weeks I have eaten like someone coming out of the desert or castaway island. Last night, even after writing out my new plan, I scarfed down 3 bagels, a huge bowl of pasta with butter, half a chorizo sausage, ham...it is like my subconscious is trying to comfort myself in some way.

Perhaps it is anxiety. Perhaps it is feeling inadequate. Perhaps it is fear of failing. Whatever it is, it has got to stop!

Do you hear me, subconscious?
It is okay to feel my fear of failing.
It is okay to feel anxious.
It is okay to feel inadequate.
All of these things are just human feelings.
And they are merely thoughts. What is the real truth?
When I look at all of these objectively now, what do I see?
In my job, I have made amazing inroads into this project, despite all the obstacles & setbacks. I have received plenty of positive feedback so far. More to the point, I am still within the time parameters for delivery.
In my weight-loss, I did lose nearly 11 lbs in two weeks. I can lose weight! I can go on a walk every day. I can change my eating & exercising habits.
In my life, maybe my relationship failed because we BOTH had issues. Everyone has emotional baggage and equal responsibility to work at making a relationship good. There were two of us there.

Phew.
It is good to say those things to myself.
Now I'm off to make some affirmations & do a little EFT. Then listen to Louise Hay tell me I am a wonderful, unique AND deserving human being. And finally, start to declutter my prosperity and helpful people corners. Then sit down with a cup of lovely reviving tea, my orange & mango breakfast, and get stuck into this project.

This show isn't over until the ex-fat lady sings. And she ain't singing yet! :)

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