It's the 2nd of June and I have 3 and a half weeks more with Mum. I have been worrying of late about various things: that I don't want to leave her here by herself, what work I am going to do to support myself when I go back, how I can sustain the low carb eating and the exercise habits I have developed over the last two months. Most of it is needless. I know that I can always sell some possessions, I have too many anyway! Jobs may be scarce but knocking on doors, using my contacts and just plain applying for them is proactive and will keep me busy. The house itself could be a source of income, a housemate or two will certainly make things livelier and ease the financial strain. And Mum does have a support network of friends to keep an eye on her for a few months while I organize my life so I can return for a longer period.
Getting off my meds becomes even more imperative now. I'm disappointed that my blood pressure is still high. The last reading was a couple of days ago, 29 May, 149/88 for 68 beats/min heartrate. My fasting blood sugar reading is a little more encouraging down to 6.5 mmol/l from 1 June. I am pleased to note that on 28 May my widest part (hip and belly overhang!) measurement is now 66 inches and my waist is now 44 inches. I still feel heavy and lumbering, even though moving and getting up and walking up stairs is much easier now.
That last thought, about stairs. Maybe that is what I need to do, walk up a few flights of stairs every day. :) If swimming proves to be too expensive for me to do when I go back, walking and stairs will be my exercise. Parks and roads, towpaths are free of charge, days I have a bus ticket I can go somewhere different to my local places and still be able to get home without exhausting myself :)
I do love to swim though, so I am going to try and make that a priority in my budget and schedule.
My best scenario? No meds at all, not for hypertension or for diabetes. Eating low carb consistently, no wheat or gluten, no added sugar or excessive fruits, perhaps with some very low carb weeks and intermittent fasting. Having my finances sorted so my house pays for itself with some renters on a long lease so I can come back and stay with Mum while they are there. Finding a job or a career or building a business that I can do here and over there so I can support myself. In short, re-invent myself totally!
Heh. It's a tall order, but I can do it. Make small changes, make some big leaps, set some practical measures in place. Talk to my family, maybe they will have some good advice on how I can do this. Time to change my life around again in a major way.
The best thing is, now I do have the energy to do this.
Possessions weigh a person down. I'm going to pare mine down a lot. No doubt even after I have done my cull, I will still have lots, but it will be stuff that I can use when I come back. I'll hopefully choose some responsible housemates who will look after the house well. I'll think of some kind of business that I will enjoy and will allow me to live anywhere and still run it and make a living from it. And I get to be with my Mum.
I've just read through what I have written and laughing at
myself. I am expecting a total transformation in two scant months? Hah,
get real, doofus! It is going to take me a couple of years to really
transform my body and my health. But the other stuff, the possessions
and earning a living, that I can address now. A few months more getting
healthier and maybe doc will reduce my meds or even take me off the
diabetes stuff. Being fat doesn't mean my brain has stopped functioning, I can work, I just have to show people that I can. Millions of fat people have jobs. And I'm going to apply for lots. And think outside my narrow work thoughts box!
A zumba class might be fun to try when I go back, so doing some stair climbing and more walking this coming month is my addition to the 5x 1 hour swim weekly.
Writing about these worries has helped me pinpoint how to go about resolving them, instead of enlarging them in my mind to big hurdles. I'm not minimising those concerns, just making sure that my self, my subconscious gets the message that I can deal with it, and to pre-empt any tendency to go hide from the world again. I've got energy now, and the way to keep that momentum going is to keep plugging away at my present course, and start paying attention to other stuff so I can achieve this goal. So I've clarified to myself what I want to do next. So what I do next will be in support of getting to this goal.