23 stone 6 lbs on the scales today.
This morning I woke up and I thought, I've got to do something to help myself in the eating stakes. So, I poured a whole, unopened half pint carton of double cream from the weekend down the sink. It reminded me of the time I gave up smoking, when I cut my remaining cigarettes in half and soaked them in water.
In giving up smoking, in Feb 2005, it took me about a year to completely give up. I backslid. Sneaked the odd fag when I went out, which luckily wasn't that often. Back in 2005 I started a diet with Slimming World in Sept and my weight then was recorded as 22 st 5 lbs. I'm pretty positive I had been bigger in 2004. But still. Right now I'm a whole stone bigger, yikes.
Well, it has taken me all of two hours to backslide again. I've just eaten a whole load of crackers with butter & roulé. However, I'm not going to beat myself up about this. What I'm going to do is go swimming at lunchtime instead, and enjoy the experience. Cool water, seeing the sky through the skylights as I do backstroke - maybe the sun will come out. And in between this morning, I'm doing a little gardening. That flower/veg bed isn't going to make itself! And even if it isn't perfectly put together, I don't think the seeds and plants will mind - they'll just be happy to be in the soil, nurtured by water and raring to pop their little noses out into the big wide world!
Yes - I've realised that I put a lot of stuff off by imagining it needs to be perfectly done to be done. Not so. Lots of stuff can be pulled together and work on just a wing and a prayer. The important thing is that I do it. So pouring the cream out was a good thing. Eating crackers is fine - it is fuel for the day - this activity filled day I'm now planning. The most important thing is that I feel good about everything I do. Nothing is intrinsically bad, only the feelings I attach to it.
Those crackers & cheese tasted really good. My tummy feels fine. I'm no longer hungry. It is 10 am now. Adult lengths session starts at 12 noon, so I'll be moseying up the hill around then, with another little enjoyable pitstop after to change my library books. Filling my day with activities and treats that I like will make doing the stuff I don't enjoy so much easier to do. Like tidying up, and vacuuming.
And if I fill my head with other stuff then those crackers won't be calling my name so insistently!