Friday, 11 March 2016
Builders
The builders are in this week. And it is exciting if disruptive. I do imagine though, these guys make some great buttercream cakes! :D
Saturday, 23 January 2016
Gain and lose
So I got to spend Christmas with my mum, courtesy of my wonderful bro - yay for excellent brothers everywhere.
It was a lazy, easy, relaxing, happy, joyful and connected time. My relationship with my mother has improved so much. I really get her now, and truly appreciate her as an adult, and see her as the wonderful inspiring lady she is and has been all along. Just as a child, and a teen, and an angry adult with issues, I couldn't do that. But now, yeah, big respect. Major hugs to you Mum! xx
Spending time in the tropics was wonderful. Not so wonderful was the continuation of the less than stellar eating habits I redeveloped since working at the bakery. Eating junk as well as real food meant I put back on a stone. Shocker, when I got back in early Jan, and found that out.
At least I got in a good dose of Vitamin D. And since starting back on HFLC (high fat low carb) my knee, ankle and hip joints are less creaky and loose, my back pain is intermittent, and woot, I have lost 12 of those reloaded pounds :) It has been just under two weeks. So I am very pleased. My current weight is 20st 13.
Next week is a blood test, and soon as they can manage it, a diabetes review. I am guessing my HbA1c (whatever does that acronym stands for??) won't be that great, as since last July I have eaten far too many carbs and loads of sugar.
I am pleased though. I didn't get a cake last week, by saying to myself that "Sugar is Poison to Me". That works, mostly. It is going to be a hard slog, just like quitting cigarettes, a lot of backsliding. Helps though that HFLC is fat satieting. I get to eat meat, fish, fat, dairy, eggs, nice veggies and occasional fruit and occasional chocolate. So it isn't all bad. And if I eat the occasional bit of bread, rice, bircher oats, that is okay.
It was a lazy, easy, relaxing, happy, joyful and connected time. My relationship with my mother has improved so much. I really get her now, and truly appreciate her as an adult, and see her as the wonderful inspiring lady she is and has been all along. Just as a child, and a teen, and an angry adult with issues, I couldn't do that. But now, yeah, big respect. Major hugs to you Mum! xx
Spending time in the tropics was wonderful. Not so wonderful was the continuation of the less than stellar eating habits I redeveloped since working at the bakery. Eating junk as well as real food meant I put back on a stone. Shocker, when I got back in early Jan, and found that out.
At least I got in a good dose of Vitamin D. And since starting back on HFLC (high fat low carb) my knee, ankle and hip joints are less creaky and loose, my back pain is intermittent, and woot, I have lost 12 of those reloaded pounds :) It has been just under two weeks. So I am very pleased. My current weight is 20st 13.
Next week is a blood test, and soon as they can manage it, a diabetes review. I am guessing my HbA1c (whatever does that acronym stands for??) won't be that great, as since last July I have eaten far too many carbs and loads of sugar.
I am pleased though. I didn't get a cake last week, by saying to myself that "Sugar is Poison to Me". That works, mostly. It is going to be a hard slog, just like quitting cigarettes, a lot of backsliding. Helps though that HFLC is fat satieting. I get to eat meat, fish, fat, dairy, eggs, nice veggies and occasional fruit and occasional chocolate. So it isn't all bad. And if I eat the occasional bit of bread, rice, bircher oats, that is okay.
Friday, 30 October 2015
Hey, where has that rear view gone?
Woot! Found the tape measure and got my measurements done.
I am 8 inches smaller around the bum, and 2 inches small around the waist since May last year. :)
I also notice that my arms are smaller. I do have bingo wings, but hey, I don't care. It feels so good to be able to squeeze into clothes I haven't worn for years. Am now wearing XL T shirts. Woah!
Got to start working on the work outs! Build some muscle. Retain that nice curve, and rebuild some bootliciousness.
Oh yeah, and am loving myself a little more. First ever attempt at a french polish manicure. Next time I will follow instructions!
Checking out uni's now. Seaside towns are on my list...going to try to be a sailor if I get into uni elsewhere from here. And here, there is dinghy sailing nearby after all. First though, need job, need lodger, need car. I do miss having one now.
I am 8 inches smaller around the bum, and 2 inches small around the waist since May last year. :)
I also notice that my arms are smaller. I do have bingo wings, but hey, I don't care. It feels so good to be able to squeeze into clothes I haven't worn for years. Am now wearing XL T shirts. Woah!
Got to start working on the work outs! Build some muscle. Retain that nice curve, and rebuild some bootliciousness.
Oh yeah, and am loving myself a little more. First ever attempt at a french polish manicure. Next time I will follow instructions!
Tuesday, 8 September 2015
Floating in a sea of uncertainity
First couple of days at college...and I am literally muddling my way through. Everyone else is in the same boat though so I need not be so worried. Tomorrow is Open Day at the local uni, am moseying up there to see what I need to do to get in there.
I think, keep my mind open, read the assignments, make notes, watch the videos, do some planning, some reading around and be organic about the whole thing and I will find it will come to make sense and be more straightforward. Right now, my mind is kind of blipping around not quite knowing what to do. Have to establish a routine.
Hmm, perhaps the anxiety is because I gave up the job that was killing my feet and have yet to find another... AHA! :) Yup, that is it. So, focus on finding a good job, preferably one that will help me get to uni!
I think, keep my mind open, read the assignments, make notes, watch the videos, do some planning, some reading around and be organic about the whole thing and I will find it will come to make sense and be more straightforward. Right now, my mind is kind of blipping around not quite knowing what to do. Have to establish a routine.
Hmm, perhaps the anxiety is because I gave up the job that was killing my feet and have yet to find another... AHA! :) Yup, that is it. So, focus on finding a good job, preferably one that will help me get to uni!
Sunday, 30 August 2015
Back to school again!
Well, here I am. Enrolled on my Access course. The proud possessor of a student badge again :)
It feels GREAT!
I finish at the bakery job today, and school starts tomorrow...woo hoo. So exciting.
Amazing to think, this time last year all I had was the idea. Now it is emerging, concrete in reality.
My next step is to consolidate, build, progress and realise that dream and that career that I will find fulfilling, fun, interesting and challenging in a good way.
Right now, can't sleep. Am so excited!
It feels GREAT!
I finish at the bakery job today, and school starts tomorrow...woo hoo. So exciting.
Amazing to think, this time last year all I had was the idea. Now it is emerging, concrete in reality.
My next step is to consolidate, build, progress and realise that dream and that career that I will find fulfilling, fun, interesting and challenging in a good way.
Right now, can't sleep. Am so excited!
Sunday, 19 July 2015
Hello there 200s! And a yummilicious summer soup
This morning the bathroom scales said 21 stone and 5 lbs.
That is 299 lbs. Woot!
So...hooray for me! Am now finally in the lovely 200s! Yay!
This last month has been a bit up and down. So this result today is a good one.
Ahh, and I am eating the most delicious soup, of my own invention.
Recently I've been sprouting brown lentils, in order to add them to salads.
But, a little handful of little brown discs soon fills the whole jar.
What to do with all of them?
As a reward for my volunteering, the charity I work for gives us free vegetables & fruit.
This week I had a load of fresh peas. Awesome little things, peas.
So, a yummilicious summer soup is born.
Ingredients
2 small onions, peeled and chopped
50g unsalted butter (it's important to use butter for the best taste)
2 small cloves garlic, crushed and chopped
4 large carrots, peeled and chunked
2 cups well sprouted brown lentils (so that the little first green leaves are visible)
500g bag of fresh peas in their pods (this will yield around a cup and a bit - well worth it)
sea salt to taste ( I use a little less than a level teaspoon)
freshly ground black pepper
dried fines herbs - I use Tesco's which contains parsley, chervil, chives and tarragon
juice of one small fresh lemon
enough hot water to cover vegetables
Method
In a nice deep pan, melt butter on medium heat. Add chopped onions and sauté gently for about 5 minutes until translucent. Longer is good. What we want is a slight sweetness. Add salt and pepper.
Add chopped carrots & sauté gently for another five minutes. Add dried fines herbs, about 2 teaspoons. Add sprouted lentils, sauté a minute or two, then add hot water to cover. Add chopped garlic. Doing this means the garlic is a sultry soft note in the soup and not a harsh one.
Bring to the boil, then leave to simmer on a low heat for about 20 minutes while getting on with podding the peas while listening to the radio! After 20 mins test the carrots and lentils to see if they are soft. Cook another few minutes if not.
Add peas, and more hot water to cover if necessary, bring to boil, then simmer for 5 mins. Take off heat.
Squeeze lemon for the juice, add to soup. Now blend in batches. Add a little hot water to swill out the lovely green residue from the blender...
To serve: swirl in a couple of tablespoons of creme fraiche/sour cream/double cream. Add more salt/lemon juice if necessary to taste. Enjoy!
That is 299 lbs. Woot!
So...hooray for me! Am now finally in the lovely 200s! Yay!
This last month has been a bit up and down. So this result today is a good one.
Ahh, and I am eating the most delicious soup, of my own invention.
Recently I've been sprouting brown lentils, in order to add them to salads.
But, a little handful of little brown discs soon fills the whole jar.
What to do with all of them?
As a reward for my volunteering, the charity I work for gives us free vegetables & fruit.
This week I had a load of fresh peas. Awesome little things, peas.
So, a yummilicious summer soup is born.
A relaxed Sunday evening supper
Summer pea & lentil sprout soupIngredients
2 small onions, peeled and chopped
50g unsalted butter (it's important to use butter for the best taste)
2 small cloves garlic, crushed and chopped
4 large carrots, peeled and chunked
2 cups well sprouted brown lentils (so that the little first green leaves are visible)
500g bag of fresh peas in their pods (this will yield around a cup and a bit - well worth it)
sea salt to taste ( I use a little less than a level teaspoon)
freshly ground black pepper
dried fines herbs - I use Tesco's which contains parsley, chervil, chives and tarragon
juice of one small fresh lemon
enough hot water to cover vegetables
Method
In a nice deep pan, melt butter on medium heat. Add chopped onions and sauté gently for about 5 minutes until translucent. Longer is good. What we want is a slight sweetness. Add salt and pepper.
Add chopped carrots & sauté gently for another five minutes. Add dried fines herbs, about 2 teaspoons. Add sprouted lentils, sauté a minute or two, then add hot water to cover. Add chopped garlic. Doing this means the garlic is a sultry soft note in the soup and not a harsh one.
Bring to the boil, then leave to simmer on a low heat for about 20 minutes while getting on with podding the peas while listening to the radio! After 20 mins test the carrots and lentils to see if they are soft. Cook another few minutes if not.
Add peas, and more hot water to cover if necessary, bring to boil, then simmer for 5 mins. Take off heat.
Squeeze lemon for the juice, add to soup. Now blend in batches. Add a little hot water to swill out the lovely green residue from the blender...
To serve: swirl in a couple of tablespoons of creme fraiche/sour cream/double cream. Add more salt/lemon juice if necessary to taste. Enjoy!
Friday, 3 July 2015
BP update
148/84
doc is pleased with my progress. Diabetes being managed by diet, have lost weight, lower BP...
Has been a good six months healthwise.
doc is pleased with my progress. Diabetes being managed by diet, have lost weight, lower BP...
Has been a good six months healthwise.
Thursday, 11 June 2015
Getting into Bodyweight Mode
Your real home is not your apartment or your house or your city or even your country, but your body. It is the only thing you, your soul and your mind, will always live inside of so long as you walk the earth. It is the single most important physical thing in this world you can take care of.
Mark Lauren (from You Are Your Own Gym)
I feel this is probably going to be the most important book I read this year.
Like last year's tome of inspiration, Dr Bernstein's Diabetes Solution.
Putting the two together will give me my blueprint for a fitter, healthier and happier (because my body is fit) life.
Here's to June, the advent of breaking through the 300lb barrier (am now 2 or 3 lbs away), getting back on my bike and plunging back into the pool!
Mark Lauren (from You Are Your Own Gym)
I feel this is probably going to be the most important book I read this year.
Like last year's tome of inspiration, Dr Bernstein's Diabetes Solution.
Putting the two together will give me my blueprint for a fitter, healthier and happier (because my body is fit) life.
Here's to June, the advent of breaking through the 300lb barrier (am now 2 or 3 lbs away), getting back on my bike and plunging back into the pool!
Thursday, 28 May 2015
Spectacular May
Its official: I have lost two stone since the beginning of the year. Awesome!
I'm now just 5 lbs away from breaking through that 300lb barrier into the two hundreds. Yay!
On holiday this week. Giving my feet a well deserved rest from toting my heavy body around.
Brave things. I've developed plantar fasciitis which is rather painful, but will hopefully go away the less I weigh, and the better care I take of my feet.
Standing and moving around all day can't be helped, it is part of the work I do for 4 and a half days a week. It is good to be occupied. And one of those days is volunteering which I do enjoy.
The swimming has taken a back seat for now. I'll be getting back into that once I am back to foot fitness or something approaching that. Or...if I manage to get back on the bike :) That is what I have promised myself - that once I weigh less than 300lbs, I'll get the bike sorted out and start cycling around again.
On other fronts, things are moving! Got a place at college this Sept, just have to sort out the funding. Been on a half day shadowing an OT, that was illuminating. And let me see that this was a job I could definitely see myself doing. So my fears have been assuaged for now. The only things that aren't going so well, but are chuntering along slowly is my dating life, and getting the house shipshape. It will happen, I'll just have to strategize and will it into being :)
I'm now just 5 lbs away from breaking through that 300lb barrier into the two hundreds. Yay!
On holiday this week. Giving my feet a well deserved rest from toting my heavy body around.
Brave things. I've developed plantar fasciitis which is rather painful, but will hopefully go away the less I weigh, and the better care I take of my feet.
Standing and moving around all day can't be helped, it is part of the work I do for 4 and a half days a week. It is good to be occupied. And one of those days is volunteering which I do enjoy.
The swimming has taken a back seat for now. I'll be getting back into that once I am back to foot fitness or something approaching that. Or...if I manage to get back on the bike :) That is what I have promised myself - that once I weigh less than 300lbs, I'll get the bike sorted out and start cycling around again.
On other fronts, things are moving! Got a place at college this Sept, just have to sort out the funding. Been on a half day shadowing an OT, that was illuminating. And let me see that this was a job I could definitely see myself doing. So my fears have been assuaged for now. The only things that aren't going so well, but are chuntering along slowly is my dating life, and getting the house shipshape. It will happen, I'll just have to strategize and will it into being :)
Thursday, 12 March 2015
Go ahead March
Well, March has proven to be pretty dynamic so far.
I'll be starting as a volunteer, for one day a week. So now I will be doing useful things instead of moping about at home... :)
I've just landed a part-time job, working with food. A good active kind of job, where I will be using my body the whole time instead of being stuck in front of a screen. Plus meeting a whole new cross section of people. :)
And the bathroom scales inform me, I am now 22 stone 13 lbs.... :D
Absolutely excellent news. Have lost 5 lbs this one week.
Have started swimming again. And it is a nice long walk from the bus stop to the pool, so that factors in asa well.
So all in all, everything is looking up.
Lots of training days this month, and then April will be all systems go.
Still have to sort out the house, but given all the go-ahead vibes pouring over me, I have a feeling all my quotes will be coming in soon. :)
Yes. Feeling very good.
Doc is pleased with me. My blood pressure is down. Still high, but the trend is down.
164/91 from 168/109.
My blood sugar readings are mostly around the 6.1 to 7.4 mark. But that is because I have been eating carbs lately. Best to get back onto the low carb/high fat routine and that will settle. All that exercise will help too.
Roll on summer!
I'll be starting as a volunteer, for one day a week. So now I will be doing useful things instead of moping about at home... :)
I've just landed a part-time job, working with food. A good active kind of job, where I will be using my body the whole time instead of being stuck in front of a screen. Plus meeting a whole new cross section of people. :)
And the bathroom scales inform me, I am now 22 stone 13 lbs.... :D
Absolutely excellent news. Have lost 5 lbs this one week.
Have started swimming again. And it is a nice long walk from the bus stop to the pool, so that factors in asa well.
So all in all, everything is looking up.
Lots of training days this month, and then April will be all systems go.
Still have to sort out the house, but given all the go-ahead vibes pouring over me, I have a feeling all my quotes will be coming in soon. :)
Yes. Feeling very good.
Doc is pleased with me. My blood pressure is down. Still high, but the trend is down.
164/91 from 168/109.
My blood sugar readings are mostly around the 6.1 to 7.4 mark. But that is because I have been eating carbs lately. Best to get back onto the low carb/high fat routine and that will settle. All that exercise will help too.
Roll on summer!
Sunday, 1 February 2015
Face to face
Found a photo of me from 14 March 2007 in almost the same pose as one taken recently on 24 Jan 2015. Nearly 8 years difference, but amazingly, my face is almost the same now. So am happy, something is going well :)
Have not lost any more lbs since 19 Jan, but am feeling fitter. Did whole load of walking around last week, and managed it mostly without having to stop and get my breath too often. Awesome! And this weekend I have managed to heave big heavy sacks of builders sand into a skip - wow. Means my muscles are coming back too. No more limp lettuce limbs, yay!
Have not lost any more lbs since 19 Jan, but am feeling fitter. Did whole load of walking around last week, and managed it mostly without having to stop and get my breath too often. Awesome! And this weekend I have managed to heave big heavy sacks of builders sand into a skip - wow. Means my muscles are coming back too. No more limp lettuce limbs, yay!
 |
| 24 Jan 2015 |
 |
| 14 Mar 2007 |
Monday, 19 January 2015
Smiley Bathroom Scales
Whoo-hoo!
Stepped on them this morning and they said: You are 23 stone and 8 lbs.
I didn't believe it.
Had to try again twice more before I believed.
OMG OMG OMG!
So want this to be the start of another great downward trend, in a positive way :)
On social side, have a meet up reading group to go to.
Shadowing day up at the local hospital. Lots of prep for that needed, bus pass especially.
Meeting up with a friend, ex colleague.
And....new tooth! My dentures arrive on Friday, no more gap smile for me. Hope getting used to them won't be too painful, and that I learn to talk allright with them in. Deffo an old lady moment this. Wish I could afford an implant. Something for later.
Feeling less blue today, that is good. Was sunny, I did lots of dancing to the radio. Still fighting off nasty winter 'lergy.
Stepped on them this morning and they said: You are 23 stone and 8 lbs.
I didn't believe it.
Had to try again twice more before I believed.
OMG OMG OMG!
So want this to be the start of another great downward trend, in a positive way :)
On social side, have a meet up reading group to go to.
Shadowing day up at the local hospital. Lots of prep for that needed, bus pass especially.
Meeting up with a friend, ex colleague.
And....new tooth! My dentures arrive on Friday, no more gap smile for me. Hope getting used to them won't be too painful, and that I learn to talk allright with them in. Deffo an old lady moment this. Wish I could afford an implant. Something for later.
Feeling less blue today, that is good. Was sunny, I did lots of dancing to the radio. Still fighting off nasty winter 'lergy.
Saturday, 17 January 2015
January blues
Have got the post christmas, post festivities, mid january bues :(
Fighting off a winter cold with spicy hot tom yum soup.
Better for me than sugar laden honey and lemon.
So... to battle my shadows,
Am making resolutions for when I feel a bit better:
that walk in the park I keep thinking of doing - DO IT.
that bag of stuff to go to the charity shop - TAKE IT.
that pile of junk to be tossed into the skip - THROW IT.
So that's for the immediate future :)
And for my laurels....
Another 3 weeks of almost paleo. I didn't manage the whole30 thing. Am not ready to give up dairy, or the small amounts of alcohol I do eat. Another month perhaps.
I can weigh myself on my bathrooms scales! That is totally awesome. No more 'ERROR' messages.
Granted, it is still a high number: 23 stone and 10 lbs, but I am SO CHUFFED!
Today I took out the contents of my sexy lingerie drawer which has remained untouched for nearly 5 years, and swore to myself that this year all of that is going to get an outing :) For myself. First. I will be so pleased to say Sayonara to my practical utilitarian bras :)
Goal for this month: walk 1 mile without stopping.
Goal for birthday: walk 2 miles without stopping.
My birthday present to myself this year: swim membership at the local university pool.
SWIMMING! Hooray!
Fighting off a winter cold with spicy hot tom yum soup.
Better for me than sugar laden honey and lemon.
So... to battle my shadows,
Am making resolutions for when I feel a bit better:
that walk in the park I keep thinking of doing - DO IT.
that bag of stuff to go to the charity shop - TAKE IT.
that pile of junk to be tossed into the skip - THROW IT.
So that's for the immediate future :)
And for my laurels....
Another 3 weeks of almost paleo. I didn't manage the whole30 thing. Am not ready to give up dairy, or the small amounts of alcohol I do eat. Another month perhaps.
I can weigh myself on my bathrooms scales! That is totally awesome. No more 'ERROR' messages.
Granted, it is still a high number: 23 stone and 10 lbs, but I am SO CHUFFED!
Today I took out the contents of my sexy lingerie drawer which has remained untouched for nearly 5 years, and swore to myself that this year all of that is going to get an outing :) For myself. First. I will be so pleased to say Sayonara to my practical utilitarian bras :)
Goal for this month: walk 1 mile without stopping.
Goal for birthday: walk 2 miles without stopping.
My birthday present to myself this year: swim membership at the local university pool.
SWIMMING! Hooray!
Friday, 26 December 2014
Christmas 2014
Go me!
I have lost 7 lbs this month.
Totally awesome.
And have not felt hungry. :)
Christmas was great. My brother came to visit, and we watched movies, ate good food because I was cooking, and went on a walk in the park.
I've had my two days of eating more carbs than usual. Tomorrow it is back on the low carb high fat primal/paleo lifestyle. This time with more walking. Am determined to get used to walking to the pool by the end of the year. So I can start the year with a swim!
Getting a denture for my missing front tooth too. That should be an interesting development. Muffled talking, mpfff mpff. And perhaps some new lenses for my glasses.
My love life continues apace - no body special, just all guys. I'm going to kiss a few and see if they'll become princely or become frogs. And I'll be enjoying myself, because I have decided just to take them at face value, because they are not ever going to be more important than me.
Yes. I am the centre of my universe. I am the person that matters. In this life, I am it. I think life is about to get quite interesting from now on.
I do want to be an occupational therapist, so getting that route mapped out and financed is my next step. And a job. Another couple of months of getting fitter and more stamina and I should be ready for anything. Viva me!
I have lost 7 lbs this month.
Totally awesome.
And have not felt hungry. :)
Christmas was great. My brother came to visit, and we watched movies, ate good food because I was cooking, and went on a walk in the park.
I've had my two days of eating more carbs than usual. Tomorrow it is back on the low carb high fat primal/paleo lifestyle. This time with more walking. Am determined to get used to walking to the pool by the end of the year. So I can start the year with a swim!
Getting a denture for my missing front tooth too. That should be an interesting development. Muffled talking, mpfff mpff. And perhaps some new lenses for my glasses.
My love life continues apace - no body special, just all guys. I'm going to kiss a few and see if they'll become princely or become frogs. And I'll be enjoying myself, because I have decided just to take them at face value, because they are not ever going to be more important than me.
Yes. I am the centre of my universe. I am the person that matters. In this life, I am it. I think life is about to get quite interesting from now on.
I do want to be an occupational therapist, so getting that route mapped out and financed is my next step. And a job. Another couple of months of getting fitter and more stamina and I should be ready for anything. Viva me!
Tuesday, 23 December 2014
30 days of low carb high fat - awesome!
Have done a whole month now.
Amazing me!
Have lost 5 lbs, maybe more when I get myself weighed tomorrow at the pharmacy.
I feel better.
I look better.
I got lots of compliments recently, which have boosted my self-esteem.
And the best thing is, I have found it easy.
Yes, 90% easy.
My only difficult day was going out to pizza express, but that was ok in the end because I counted it towards a 20% non paleo/primal allowance which I hadn't really been using.
I've found aiming for 1800 has resulted in my eating less habitually, and a little more on some days.
So there has been a bit of cycling of the calories and carbs.
Keeping the body on its toes :)
Now for the start of the walking.
Got to build on this. Some walks now between Xmas and New Year.
Then I start a Whole 30, that is low carb, high fat without dairy (except ghee), sugar & alcohol.
Hmm, going to miss milky tea, cheese, sour cream, yoghurt, cream & my little bit of cooking alcohol.
But have eaten like this for a couple of weeks before. It isn't a hardship.
An example:
Eggs cooked with butter, sliced tomatoes, fruit tea
smashed sardines in own oil, lemon juice, ground black pepper, chopped cucumber & radishes
chicken breast, pan fried with coconut oil, green beans, baby carrots, butter
Hmm, sub the butter with ghee (must buy ghee)
Drink lots of water
Remember my EPA, multivitamin+iron & BP drugs.
Hmm, Christmas week coming up. We are having ice cream cake. Rhubarb fool. And possibly creme bruleé. That will be the most puddings I've eaten in a while :)
Am hoping to lose a stone and a couple of pounds by the end of Feb.
Going to see what I can do. And how good I'm going to look!
Amazing me!
Have lost 5 lbs, maybe more when I get myself weighed tomorrow at the pharmacy.
I feel better.
I look better.
I got lots of compliments recently, which have boosted my self-esteem.
And the best thing is, I have found it easy.
Yes, 90% easy.
My only difficult day was going out to pizza express, but that was ok in the end because I counted it towards a 20% non paleo/primal allowance which I hadn't really been using.
I've found aiming for 1800 has resulted in my eating less habitually, and a little more on some days.
So there has been a bit of cycling of the calories and carbs.
Keeping the body on its toes :)
Now for the start of the walking.
Got to build on this. Some walks now between Xmas and New Year.
Then I start a Whole 30, that is low carb, high fat without dairy (except ghee), sugar & alcohol.
Hmm, going to miss milky tea, cheese, sour cream, yoghurt, cream & my little bit of cooking alcohol.
But have eaten like this for a couple of weeks before. It isn't a hardship.
An example:
Eggs cooked with butter, sliced tomatoes, fruit tea
smashed sardines in own oil, lemon juice, ground black pepper, chopped cucumber & radishes
chicken breast, pan fried with coconut oil, green beans, baby carrots, butter
Hmm, sub the butter with ghee (must buy ghee)
Drink lots of water
Remember my EPA, multivitamin+iron & BP drugs.
Hmm, Christmas week coming up. We are having ice cream cake. Rhubarb fool. And possibly creme bruleé. That will be the most puddings I've eaten in a while :)
Am hoping to lose a stone and a couple of pounds by the end of Feb.
Going to see what I can do. And how good I'm going to look!
Sunday, 21 December 2014
Empowerment for all body types
http://www.theguardian.com/music/2014/dec/20/-sp-amputee-pop-star-viktoria-modesta
Bringing back the sass
I've spent, its seems, almost all my life
bemoaning and being ashamed of the fact that I was always, always bigger
than the norm. Forever trying to make myself slimmer looking, slimmer
in truth, hiding my body, disguising it with dark clothes, loose
clothes, always wearing frumpy stuff which skimmed and hid. Slouching.
Being a smartarse, to deflect attention from my body. Hiding in plain
sight. Standing behind people in photographs. Trying always to take up
less room in this life. Minimizing myself.
It has coloured my life, this dissatisfaction about my wieght & rotundity and affected my self-esteem a lot. Probably was the reason I was sexually promiscuous at an early age when really none of those boys ever made me feel special. Looking for validation in the wrong places.
And so it continued through 3 long term partners and lots of shorter affaires, flings, one night stands. Every one of those men, always commented on my fat, and how I would be happier if I just lost a little, what a sweet, pretty face I had, mention pop stars who might have similar features but be half my size, mention liking stuff like tight bottoms, tiny light women they'd dated before...a veritable stable of little pricks and pokes and sharp little digs to prickle through my fat self as unworthy, unpretty, not as good as all those other women they discussed. And I never realised it as put downs, just as advice on how to become prettier etc., merely internalizing it, and subconsciously eating away the hurt and putting it under more fat to protect my self from it.
All that changed earlier this month, when I encountered a man who absolutely loved every curve, every roll, every pound of me. Just exactly as I am now. Yes, my currently size 26/28 self. That one with the enormous bum, massively wobbly thighs, and arms like fat joined sausages. He adored my stomach, gulped and sighed over my bum, was awed and blissed out holding my soft self to him. It was a total revelation to me. Not one of my lovers previous to this one had ever celebrated my body in such a way. And it made me feel so beautiful, and for the first time in my life, I felt sexy, truly and utterly. And free. Free to be entirely myself, without trying to position myself so my body looked 'better'. Without feeling I had to perform for him, to ensure he had the best sexual time as a compensation for being with fat unlovely me, because it was untrue. He felt he was the lucky person, and that was so gloriously sweet. And I am smiling even now while I think of this. If nothing else, this man did me the biggest good turn of his life, he gave me back my confidence in myself, without my having to change one iota of my being. And for that he defininitely deserves his place in my hall of heroes.
From this, I have had the confidence to be myself in almost every thing I have done since. I've been sassy. I've been sociable. I've gone out and done stuff unthinkable of just 6 months ago. Perhaps part of it is that after a long period of depression my chemicals have rearranged themselves. Or it was just time for my brain to re-engage in life. But these last 3-4 weeks, which coincided with my going back on the paleo/primal bandwagon have been the best weeks in the last 5 years. Even if I encounter any fat-haters from now on, this memory will be one that will make me feel great, and know that I am just fine, whatever size I am.
So, thank you, Harry, I will always cherish your memory, sweet man.
It has coloured my life, this dissatisfaction about my wieght & rotundity and affected my self-esteem a lot. Probably was the reason I was sexually promiscuous at an early age when really none of those boys ever made me feel special. Looking for validation in the wrong places.
And so it continued through 3 long term partners and lots of shorter affaires, flings, one night stands. Every one of those men, always commented on my fat, and how I would be happier if I just lost a little, what a sweet, pretty face I had, mention pop stars who might have similar features but be half my size, mention liking stuff like tight bottoms, tiny light women they'd dated before...a veritable stable of little pricks and pokes and sharp little digs to prickle through my fat self as unworthy, unpretty, not as good as all those other women they discussed. And I never realised it as put downs, just as advice on how to become prettier etc., merely internalizing it, and subconsciously eating away the hurt and putting it under more fat to protect my self from it.
All that changed earlier this month, when I encountered a man who absolutely loved every curve, every roll, every pound of me. Just exactly as I am now. Yes, my currently size 26/28 self. That one with the enormous bum, massively wobbly thighs, and arms like fat joined sausages. He adored my stomach, gulped and sighed over my bum, was awed and blissed out holding my soft self to him. It was a total revelation to me. Not one of my lovers previous to this one had ever celebrated my body in such a way. And it made me feel so beautiful, and for the first time in my life, I felt sexy, truly and utterly. And free. Free to be entirely myself, without trying to position myself so my body looked 'better'. Without feeling I had to perform for him, to ensure he had the best sexual time as a compensation for being with fat unlovely me, because it was untrue. He felt he was the lucky person, and that was so gloriously sweet. And I am smiling even now while I think of this. If nothing else, this man did me the biggest good turn of his life, he gave me back my confidence in myself, without my having to change one iota of my being. And for that he defininitely deserves his place in my hall of heroes.
From this, I have had the confidence to be myself in almost every thing I have done since. I've been sassy. I've been sociable. I've gone out and done stuff unthinkable of just 6 months ago. Perhaps part of it is that after a long period of depression my chemicals have rearranged themselves. Or it was just time for my brain to re-engage in life. But these last 3-4 weeks, which coincided with my going back on the paleo/primal bandwagon have been the best weeks in the last 5 years. Even if I encounter any fat-haters from now on, this memory will be one that will make me feel great, and know that I am just fine, whatever size I am.
So, thank you, Harry, I will always cherish your memory, sweet man.
Wednesday, 17 December 2014
Yay! Downsizing again
Hooray!
Am downsizing again, finally.
These three weeks of eating low carb, high fat, moderate protein have finally paid off.
Hopped on a scale last week, and was sadened to see I weighed 343 lbs with my clothes & boots on. Must have gained a whole lot more than I thought, with my 3 months of carb ingesting overeating :(
This week, the scale told me I'd lost a whopping 5 lbs! :D :D :D
Worth every day of feeling less than great last week.
Am back on the doxazosine. 2mg this week. Next week 2mg twice daily. Week after 2mg once & 2x2mg once. Week after that 4mg twice daily. Doc is determined to bring down my blood pressure which was a scary 165/109 last week.
I've been out and about. A little walking. Being on the doxazosine has resulted in my feeling faint, tired and dizzy a lot of the time. No energy. Plus nauseated, and feeling sick after eating :( Hopefully I will stabilize and none of those will affect me once I am used to the meds again.
Love life news: the man I want isn't responding to me, so I'm sad. The guys I don't really care that much about text and call me...oh well. Time anyway to get sorted for Christmas. It is just around the corner suddenly :) Family are coming to visit me, I hope this year.
Home made decorations this year - crepe paper chains (I found a load of art materials), a spray painted branch Xmas tree, or maybe this year I will make a pagan style ball and fill it with greenery, fruit, spices and berries. And make the house smell nice with cinnamon and oranges, yummy!
Am downsizing again, finally.
These three weeks of eating low carb, high fat, moderate protein have finally paid off.
Hopped on a scale last week, and was sadened to see I weighed 343 lbs with my clothes & boots on. Must have gained a whole lot more than I thought, with my 3 months of carb ingesting overeating :(
This week, the scale told me I'd lost a whopping 5 lbs! :D :D :D
Worth every day of feeling less than great last week.
Am back on the doxazosine. 2mg this week. Next week 2mg twice daily. Week after 2mg once & 2x2mg once. Week after that 4mg twice daily. Doc is determined to bring down my blood pressure which was a scary 165/109 last week.
I've been out and about. A little walking. Being on the doxazosine has resulted in my feeling faint, tired and dizzy a lot of the time. No energy. Plus nauseated, and feeling sick after eating :( Hopefully I will stabilize and none of those will affect me once I am used to the meds again.
Love life news: the man I want isn't responding to me, so I'm sad. The guys I don't really care that much about text and call me...oh well. Time anyway to get sorted for Christmas. It is just around the corner suddenly :) Family are coming to visit me, I hope this year.
Home made decorations this year - crepe paper chains (I found a load of art materials), a spray painted branch Xmas tree, or maybe this year I will make a pagan style ball and fill it with greenery, fruit, spices and berries. And make the house smell nice with cinnamon and oranges, yummy!
Monday, 1 December 2014
Attraction
I'm enjoying myself at the moment, chatting to various men on a dating website. Something I haven't done in a long long time.
Currently I'm intrigued by one, being semi-pursued by another, and have the tender sensibilities of another to assuage. To none of these men have I promised anything apart from a chance to meet me. Yet for the first I am really hopeful. Because he is funny and cute. And I'm very much attracted to his picture. And his lovely voice. Yes, I know men post the best photo they have, and yes, they sometimes lie. I like him, his personality very much. The second man is also lovely, he is a teaser, I would like to meet him. But I don't have the same fizzing excitement as I do with the first. The third, well, I think he needs a friend. I could be surprised and find he astounds me. I won't know that till I meet him in person.
It is nice all this. After so many years of feeling miserable, this optimism and acceptance of whatever might or might not transpire is heady. And what I find the most amusing is that I have only lost 6% of my bodyweight. And have lost a front tooth. I have a long way to go yet, and I may never go out with any of these guys. But for now the anticipation of meeting is sweet and I am enjoying myself.
Currently I'm intrigued by one, being semi-pursued by another, and have the tender sensibilities of another to assuage. To none of these men have I promised anything apart from a chance to meet me. Yet for the first I am really hopeful. Because he is funny and cute. And I'm very much attracted to his picture. And his lovely voice. Yes, I know men post the best photo they have, and yes, they sometimes lie. I like him, his personality very much. The second man is also lovely, he is a teaser, I would like to meet him. But I don't have the same fizzing excitement as I do with the first. The third, well, I think he needs a friend. I could be surprised and find he astounds me. I won't know that till I meet him in person.
It is nice all this. After so many years of feeling miserable, this optimism and acceptance of whatever might or might not transpire is heady. And what I find the most amusing is that I have only lost 6% of my bodyweight. And have lost a front tooth. I have a long way to go yet, and I may never go out with any of these guys. But for now the anticipation of meeting is sweet and I am enjoying myself.
Sunday, 30 November 2014
1800 - week one
Did pretty good this week. Mostly lower than 1800. Low low carbs. Plenty of fat.
Coupled with lots of distractions, I wasn't so obsessed with food.
A good thing.
So, perhaps it is time to get weighed.
Dentist & Optician this week.
Dentures? New glasses?
I have another date.
Life is good.
Coupled with lots of distractions, I wasn't so obsessed with food.
A good thing.
So, perhaps it is time to get weighed.
Dentist & Optician this week.
Dentures? New glasses?
I have another date.
Life is good.
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